‘Tis the Season for Friendship & Strongly Worded Letters
LeMare has always been a fiercely loyal and protective friend. After rooming with my older sister at BYU, she quickly became friends with every single member of my family. From Krispy Kreme camp outs in Orem to all-you-can-eat brunches in Wisconsin, LeMare became a part of our family fabric and a trusted advisor in uncertain situations. When my younger sister was faced with a school decision, LeMare wisely doled out the following letter to her 13-year old pal (unearthed just today from the archives):
JL tells me of your desire to attend boarding school in McLean. I will have none of this. Do you understand how adversely this would affect your mother? Oh, Ween, it would be devastating. Plus, you’ll live with all sorts of weird kids who aren’t members of the church and there wll be peer pressure and before you know it, all your friends are little hellions like Dwighto’s were in high school.
Additionally, you were not meant to eat cafeteria food. Do you know what they put in Salisbury Steak? Neither do I, Ween, neither do I. And your special meal of the week would be from a frozen little package. And the pie would be nothing other thn instant pudding mix thrown in a pre-made graham cracker crust…Try, if you will, to comprehend the repercussions after a meal of and broccoli from the freezer. I don’t wish to further explore the associated tragedy! and
Anyhow, there are numerous reasons why I think you should stay at home (live in your nice house where your mother cooks lovely meals and parents go to fine restaurants regularly). Oh, think of subjecting yourself to dorm life at such a vulnerable age.think about not being able to take a shower without wearing flip-flops. Think about how tiny and sparsely decorated your room will be. Then think about Chez Vous. Ours are the only feet in your shower. And your room is decorated in the finest of tastes, no doubt. Ween, there is no reasonable explanationfor inflicting this malarchy on me and your family.