Only In San Francisco #1

Shoes shined by the homeless on a mobile chair stand?  Could happen anywhere…

Get your ipod fixed while having your shoes shined by the homeless?

ONLY IN SAN FRANCISCO.

Historical Blunders

A student teacher has to draw up an American history test for his tenth grade history students, focusing on post-World War II national events. He figures he will make it easy, seeing as how they’re just about to break for Memorial Day weekend.

Question #1: Name the intern who had inappropriate relations with President Bill Clinton in 1995.

This one stumps some of the students. What was that intern’s name?!!! One student writes, “Lebowski.” Student teacher laughs while he grades this test, but really enjoys the legendary response of “Martin Luther King, Jr.” What other conspiracy theories is this brilliant kid keeping from the United States? He certainly must know what goes down at Area 51.

Question #9: Name the hippie music festival that took place in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s.

Again, some kids are stumped. One girl in particular has no idea. She asks for help. Student Teacher says, “I’ll give you a clue. It starts with a ‘W’.” Girl rolls her eyes. “Okay, then an ‘o’ and another ‘o’, then a ‘d’. Girl’s eyes light up and she scribbles down, “Woodlog.” Student Teacher interjects and says, “Try again.” After thinking, she crosses out her first feeble attempt and confidently writes, “Woodshop.”

Woodshop vs. Woodstock (easily confusable!)

Heaven help our teachers.

*Thanks, CJ, for the story!*

We’ve all wanted to…

The other morning, I was walking down Spear Street in San Francisco, and saw this on the ground outside of an office building:

You got it.  A printer thrown out of the window of an office building in an obvious fit of rage.  There’s still paper in it!

Am I the only one reminded of the movie Office Space with the scene where they steal the printer and beat it senseless in a field?  Here’s the clip (but if you’re sensitive to foul language I suggest you turn down the background music).

As Popular as “The Gosselin”

It may be presumptuous to claim that anybody who sees these wants these. But it’s true. (It’s far less presumptuous than Kate Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8 claiming that everybody wants her parrot hair do).

Without further ado, a little recipe for anyone who needs to a) win the grand prize at a cookie contest b) make amends with someone or c) take a break from job applications.

Peanut Butter Brownie Cookies
Pillsbury Bake-Off Finalist, 2004

1 box traditional fudge brownie mix
1/4 cup butter, melted
4 oz. cream cheese, softened
1 egg
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1/2 container (1 lb. size) chocolate fudge ready-to-spread frosting

1. Heat oven to 350. In medium bowl, beat brownie mix, melted butter, cream cheese and egg 50 strokes with spoon until well blended (dought will be sticky).

2. Onto ungreased cookie sheets, drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls 2 inches apart to make 24 cookies; smooth edge of each to form round cookie.

3. In small bowl, mix powdered sugar and peanut butter with spoon until mixture forms a ball. With hands, roll rounded teaspoonfuls into 24 balls. Lightly press 1 ball into center of each ball of dough.

4. Bake 10 to 14 minutes or until edge are set. Cool cookies on cookie sheets at least 30 minutes.

5. Remove cooled cookies from cookie sheets. Spread thin layer of frosting over peanut butter portion of each cooled cookie.

These creations are so potent that no one has ever been able to eat more than two in one sitting. Consider that a challenge…

Obama Administration declares war on Cheerios

Guest Post from Marcus:

I’m willing to tolerate quite a bit of stupidity from Presidential administrations. Let’s face it–for much of the last decade we’ve had no choice. But the Obama Administration’s declaring war on Cheerios is crossing the line. We’re big Cheerios fans in our home and we had no idea that, according to the FDA, we were taking drugs. I’m all for enforcing the FDCA, and even for cracking down (pardon the pun–we’ll get to the President’s recreational use in a moment) on corporations that do evil things (like lower cholesterol) if they’re making exaggerated claims about their products’ health properties. But notice that the FDA doesn’t dispute General Mills’ cholesterol-lowering claims–they just say that those claims “essentially makes [sic] Cheerios ‘a drug’ by their definition.” Now, I took D.A.R.E. classes in elementary school and I remember them teaching us that a drug is defined as “any NON-FOOD substance that affects the way your mind or body works.” Perhaps if the President had paid attention in D.A.R.E. (which he didn’t, as you can see here and here and here and here) this whole silly story could have been avoided and the Obama Administration could have focused on solving some of our non-Cheerios-related crises, such as the genocide in Darfur, or the social security ponzi scheme that my generation is funding, or homelessness, or hunger, or, you know, our entire financial structure generally crumbling around us. But I’m glad that we’re winning the war on drugs–and cereal.

Staying Classy

On comedian Wanda Sykes stint at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner:

From Deadline Hollywood’s Nikki Finke:

…I do think her overall performance was inappropriate for the room, and I say that as a liberal Democrat. Sykes herself was prescient when she began her performance with these remarks: “This is truly an honor to be here. It really is. I keep getting asked the same question, ‘Are you nervous? Are you nervous?’ With this administration, what is there to be nervous about? If I do a good job, I get great press. If I screw it up royally, Tim Geithner gives me a bonus.”

Mike Lupica from the New York Post also weighed in.

Isn’t the real issue here one of class? And not upper and lower class, but the class borne of consideration and self-respect.

But we’ve lost that. We’re not even trying, and the media doesn’t care enough to be fair. And society loses.

It just keeps getting better

I know I’m hogging IRF this week, but I would be remiss not to share this with you.

Indeed, what would one expect from a homeless man?

Shopping cart? check

Army duffel bag? check

Grocery bags spilling over the shopping cart filled with who knows what? check

But an igloo? That, I did not expect.

What the what?

I actually had to chase after him to capture it.

You can’t make this stuff up.

More, you say?

A clever man across the street was sporting a fantastic Ferrari t-shirt, which was pretty spectacular in and of itself. As I pulled out my iphone, ready to take a photo once he turned around, a honk urged the front car at the light to move along. From whence did the horn come? Well, let me show you.

Yes, there are matching t-shirts involved.

To reiterate the symbol hoisted on the back of their bike, God bless America!

The Bus Stop II

The view from my desk yesterday for a good 10 minutes straight. Exactly like that. And I sit 3 feet from the window.

It was a touch unnerving.

(remember, with mirrored windows, I see them, they can’t see me.)