‘Tis the Season for Friendship & Strongly Worded Letters

LeMare has always been a fiercely loyal and protective friend. After rooming with my older sister at BYU, she quickly became friends with every single member of my family. From Krispy Kreme camp outs in Orem to all-you-can-eat brunches in Wisconsin, LeMare became a part of our family fabric and a trusted advisor in uncertain situations. When my younger sister was faced with a school decision, LeMare wisely doled out the following letter to her 13-year old pal (unearthed just today from the archives):

10/24/01

Ween,

JL tells me of your desire to attend boarding school in McLean. I will have none of this. Do you understand how adversely this would affect your mother? Oh, Ween, it would be devastating. Plus, you’ll live with all sorts of weird kids who aren’t members of the church and there wll be peer pressure and before you know it, all your friends are little hellions like Dwighto’s were in high school.

Additionally, you were not meant to eat cafeteria food. Do you know what they put in Meatloaf and Salisbury Steak? Neither do I, Ween, neither do I. And your special meal of the week would be Chicken Cordon Bleu from a frozen little package. And the pie would be nothing other thn instant pudding mix thrown in a pre-made graham cracker crust…Try, if you will, to comprehend the repercussions after a meal of deep fried chicken and broccoli from the freezer. I don’t wish to further explore the associated tragedy!

Anyhow, there are numerous reasons why I think you should stay at home (live in your nice house where your mother cooks lovely meals and parents go to fine restaurants regularly). Oh, think of subjecting yourself to dorm life at such a vulnerable age.think about not being able to take a shower without wearing flip-flops.  Think about how tiny and sparsely decorated your room will be. Then think about Chez Vous. Ours are the only feet in your shower. And your room is decorated in the finest of tastes, no doubt. Ween, there is no reasonable explanationfor inflicting this malarchy on me and your family.

Sincerely,

LeMare

I Spy an Ex-Apprentice Contender

Nothing like the Lakers to bring out the greatest reality TV villain of all time. It’s been years since Omarosa was on The Apprentice, but that didn’t stop me from still feeling mad at her for that one task where she claimed to have a concussion after a chip of plaster hit her head.

Getting the evil eye for my paparazzi skills.

Yep, it’s definitely her.

Now, onto some more shady interesting characters. Here we have Kobe Bryant on the floor.

To the right of Kobe’s right elbow, there are three Redskins players in the front row. White men most likely answering to the name Chet made a habit of running up to them at every time out to talk game.

Gilbert Arenas, the star of our humble local team, may be out for the season but it doesn’t stop him from dressing in this early 20th century banker’s ensemble.

Michael Wilbon, Washington Post columnist and Pardon the Interruption host.

This might explain why the Wizards haven’t been winning much these days.

They are too busy checking out the Kiss Cam.

LeMare’s Celebrity Lookalikes

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO DISTURBED IN YOUR LIFE?  I have a 67% resemblance to THE HOFF!!!!

Click here to watch me morph into the Hoff.

RIP, Sophia. This slice is for you.

Estelle Getty, Sophia Petrillo, on the golden girls has “gone to the big lanai in the sky” (according to TMZ).  She was 84 years old, just 3 days shy of her 85th birthday.

IRF reveres our favorite Sicilian and perhaps we need to go back and review IRF’s Tribute to the Golden Girls. 

I think all of us will sit around the kitchen table tonight, in our robes, having a slice of cheesecake in your honor.

More Idol Backstage Pictures

David Johns, the Australian contestant.

David Archuleta up close and personal after the L.A. concert.

One of many side hugs of the night for David Cook. A fan has scribbled a message on his fedora.

Backstage at American Idol

Through our special correspondents in L.A., we have been privileged to bring you inside peeks at Hollywood. The latest pictures come from The Train (my sister and new sister-in-law to the dazzling newlywed Kirsten). The Train attended the American Idol concert last night and got one of 100 backstage passes. It helped that The Train’s concert companion is good friends with Brooke White and her husband. Behold, your Idols!

The tweens went crazy for David Archuleta. I still maintain he should have won.

Jason Castro is still hanging onto his dreads.

Brooke White sang “Let it Be.”

Jason Castro and Paula Abdul greet fans after the show.

Hanging out with beautiful Brooke backstage.

David Cook backstage after the concert.

Not pictured but extremely nice was Carly Smithson and her very tattooed husband.

Odd Bedfellows

Total Gym Direct is endorsed by an interesting trio of celebrities. You have Chuck Norris, a guy who has become a huge conservative, followed by Christie Brinkley, a woman in a nasty public divorce. Then to top it off, you have Wesley Snipes, a tax denier with a pending prison sentence.

Now in their defense, Mario Lopez was already taken, but c’mon marketing geniuses.

A Step Behind

As a blog that brought you a behind-the-scenes look at the set of National Treasure at Mount Vernon, it would have only been suiting that we do the same for the next Transformers.  But, alas, it was not to be.  On Friday I took my kids to the National Air and Space Museum (Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center).  Our $12 parking fee was waived because we were told DreamWorks LLC had everyone covered that day.  Half of the museum was blocked off for filming and since my son was getting “shh’ed” by DreamWorks staff during filming, we took off to the non-Hollywood half so as to not disrupt.

Figuring that it was a non-cartoon film for DreamWorks, I didn’t think it was a big film. I also didn’t recognize the three actors we saw from 50 yards away.  Come to find out the next day in the paper that it was Shia LeBoeuf and Megan Fox and that Shia was merrily signing autographs inbetween takes.

So close yet so far away.

Not So Much in the Trenches

While on the topic of celebrities, does it bother anyone else that Angelina Jolie is probably the only mother in the world commended for bringing a fifth and sixth child into the world? During an interview on the Today show, Jack Black said to Angelina that she and Brad would “have as many as [the] ‘Brady Bunch’ when you have these,” making official all the twin rumors swirling around her protruding navel.

Normal citizens in metropolitan areas typically face ridicule and downward glances when strangers find out #6 is on the way. But society is expected to bask in the glow of Angelina and Brad’s children and hearken the arrival of more jutting cheek bones and pouty lips. Yes, the Jolie-Pitts support more humanitarian causes than the average celebrity. Yes, it’s noble of her to adopt children from impoverished countries and endure pregnancy.

But when educated, married mothers who are handling six children without a staff of twelve, (as in no night nurses, full-time nannies, cooks, personal trainers, drivers and stylists), are demeaned for “irresponsibly” populating the earth, it’s such a double standard.

No doubt the new Brady Bunch will get photographed by Annie Liebovitz for the cover of Vanity Fair after Angelina delivers. Just be sure at that time to recognize the unsung heroes who are scrubbing macaroni and cheese and nail polish out of their kid’s hair themselves.

Celebrity Disguises

After spending a lovely Saturday up in Sausalito, my friends and I walked past a Lappert’s ice cream shop and were wondering if we NEEDED an ice cream, when out walked a double decker tin roof sundae in a waffle cone.  My friend, J, and I looked at each other and said, “Um, yes, we need some.”  So we walk in, and promptly press our noses to the glass, deciding which flavor we needed, when my other friend, S, engaged me in dialogue:

S: That was Jamie Foxx!

LeMare:  The man holding the cone?

S:  The big black man that looked like Jamie Foxx.

LeMare:  I didn’t notice size, skin color, or face, but I did notice the double decker waffle cone with Tin Roof Sundae.

S:  He had a couple carats in each ear.

J:  How were we supposed to look at his face when he was holding that cone?

LeMare:  This is like when women complain about men looking at their chests and remind them that their eyes are up here.  Was he wearing sunglasses?

S:  On top of his head.

LeMare:  He didn’t need them covering his eyes, not with such a clever decoy as a delicious cone on a beautiful day!

 

So, celebrities who are hounded by the paparazzi, let this be a lesson to you.  If you don’t want to be recognized, hats and dark glasses are not the way to do it.  For heaven sakes, all it takes is something decadent in your hands and NO one will be looking at your face!