We all have crow’s feet.

What do you think of this photo getting so much attention right now (on the headline at Drudge Report)?  Initially I thought it was photoshopped because she normally looks much better.  But I guess it’s the expression of exhaustion and the close proximity of this photo. 

Some blogs are disgusted with America for the double standard on men vs women, and afterall she IS 60 years old…  I don’t think this will have bearing on her campaign like some people do.  My shock, however, is that I’ve never seen her look like this.  Could it be that this is the first time she was captured at this range, with a filterless lens, and unflattering lighting?

 

Regardless, I (while not normally against plastic surgery) do commend her for not going this route:

Dear Clueless

From a forward sent to my Dad:

Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What’s worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn’t even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars and cruise around with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn’t even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed: Clueless

Dear Clueless,

Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman. You don’t need him anymore! You’re a United States Senator from New York running for President of the United States.

Miller Monday - The MNBA

Last week while listening to the radio on the way home from work I heard a story that caught my attention.  Some really smart guy believes that 25% of all Republican woman will vote for Hillary because she is a woman.  There has also been a lot of similar jibber jabber over Obama.  Some people are really excited at the prospect of seeing America’s first Black African American president.  Inside the Mormon community there has been a lot of hub bub over the fact that Mitt Romney could be the first Mormon president.  Believe it or not I have actually heard a talk show host talking about how exciting it would be if Rudy Giuliani won because he would be the first Italian American president.  It really got me thinking, is that why we vote for someone?  I can’t tell what world I am living in when someone decides to support one candidate over another because, well, we haven’t had one of those yet.  This has been very perplexing to me.  As I drove home from work I let me mind relax as I tried to imagine what kind world my children are going to be living in.

My mind wandered back to a rather humorous little bit I read on close IRF friend Sportsattitude’s page about the longevity of the WNBA.  For those of you who have no idea what that is, don’t worry, you are in the majority.  Several years ago a bunch of people decided that it was unfair that the NBA was a fairly entertaining sport with only male athletes.  My guess is some female Republican Hillary Clinton supporters thought, “Hey, we need a national basketball association for women because, well, we don’t really have one.”  Forget about ratings, forget about public interest, forget about how lame the concept is, we don’t have one and so for that reason alone we need one.  Hence the WNBA was born.  No one actually watches it but that is beside the point.  The league is heavily subsidized by its male counterpart and attendance levels resemble a Chumbawumba reunion concert.  The teams have names that closely resemble the NBA teams of the area.  For example, the Detroit Pistons play along side the Detroit Shock.  The Houston Rockets share court with the Houston Comets.  The San Antonio Spurs play along side the San Antonio Silver Stars. Etc, etc.

This, my friends, is the world we live in.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that no one vote for Hillary Clinton.  Far from it.  If you are a Socialist, please, by all means vote for Hillary Clinton.  Be my guest.  That is your right.  But for the sake of my sanity please do not vote for her because she is a woman.  Please.  Seriously. Please.  This is about your principles.  At least pretend that the reason you voted for her was because you wanted a health care system that functions like the DMV.  Again, this is about principles.  If you have any.

But now that I know how the American public functions I would like to introduce a new concept to you.  In the interest of supporting something new simply because we dont have it yet…. 

You’ve seen the NBA. 

    
You’ve seen the WNBA. 

 

But you haven’t seen anything like the MNBA.

 

Hello world, its time for the Midget Basketball Association of America.  Come on everyone.  Join the fun.  Finally a league for the littlest basketball players you have ever seen.  They’re tiny.  They are adorable.  They are midgets.  Yee haw.  I’m sure you will all love the following teams with their “bigger” brother NBA teams:

The New York Knicks introduces the “Knee High Knickerbockers”

The Boston Celtics welcome the “Boston Little People” (Said in an Irish brogue)

The Los Angeles Lakers and the “Los Angeles Little Lakers”

The Orlando Magic and the “Orlando the Mini Magic”

“The Minnesota Timberwolves” welcome the “Minnesota Tiny Timbercubs”

The San Antonio Spurs introduce the “San Antonio Spuritos”

The Denver Nuggets want to bring along the “Denver Nuggets” (No change necessary)

And the Chicago Bulls welcome the “Chicago Calves”

 We are also considering a few expansion teams:

The Sacramento Kings – The “Sacramento Burger King Kids Meals”

The Washington Wizards – The “Washington Hogwarts Kids”

Five on five, all midget basketball action, in your face.  Get that OUT OF THE KITCHEN!  They play with regular sized balls on regular 10 foot rims.  STUFF’D!  Sixty minutes of hard-core midget b-ball to make your heart race and your blood boil.  WHO’S YOUR DADDY!

I know you will all support this great idea because we definitely do not currently have a midget basketball league. I have also called dibs on the MNFL because that would be adorable to see little midgets tossing the pigskin around.  I am open for business partners on this endeavor because I haven’t fully thought it out.  However, I will not be copywriting the whole MMLB idea because I think it is dangerous for midgets to be throwing baseballs at each other and because I think it would be difficult for a midget to throw a circle change with their stubby little fingers and everything.

Sincerely,

Joe Miller

I’m Popular

Not since  Wicked have I seen such narcissism.   Glinda isn’t the only person obsessed with her own popularity.  Rudy Giuliani recently said to a group of British reporters:  “I’m probably one of the four or five best known Americans in the world,”  IRF is not intending to break the 11th Commandment (Thou shalt not speak ill of a fellow Republican), but this level of self-aggrandisement is amusing.

    =   

There are MANY, MANY Americans with more international name recognition throughout the world, some for more noble reasons than others…  Here are a few off the top of my head: Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, Brittney Spears, Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, Julia Roberts, George Clooney, Bruce Willis, Madonna, Michael Jackson… Need we continue?

IRF does not dispute that he has more name recognition than any of the other Republican candidates, but any other AMERICAN?  Absurdity. 

Posted by LeMare

A Horrifying Thought

If THIS couple doesn’t look presidential, I don’t know who does…

Fortunately for Hillary, her rosacia has cleared up remarkably.

I have one question for IRF Readers… as horrid as Hillary would be as a president, do you think she would be worse than that kind-hearted idiot, Jimmy Carter?

This photo belongs on the cover of a Stephen King horror novel.

Hillary’s Campaign Slogans

The My Man Mitt Blog reported a HIGHLY interesting post.  All this time, I always thought that Republicans were better for business (from my silly experience in the oil industry and consumer packaged goods).  Little did I know that SOME business suffers during a Conservative Administration.  Adult Film Star, Jenna Jameson, states: 

“The Clinton administration was the best years for the adult industry and I wish that Clinton would run again. I would love to have him back in office. I would love to have Al Gore in office. When Republicans are in office, the problem is, a lot of times they try to put their crosshairs on the adult industry, to make a point. It’s sad, when there are so many different things that are going on in the world: war, and people are dying of genocide…I look forward to another Democrat being in office. It just makes the climate so much better for us, and I know that once all our troops come home, things are going to be better and I think that getting Bush out of office is the most important thing right now.” Link

MMM recommends a new campaign slogan for Hillary.  “Hillary: The Adult Business Candidate” or “Hillary: Good for Porn“. 

While on the subject of Hillary’s campaign slogan, she is also asking for America to cast a vote to pick her campaign theme song.  The obvious selections are not songs that I can vote for… “Witchy Woman” by the Eagles.  ”Devil Woman” by Cliff Richard.  “Creep” by Radiohead.  What Hillary Theme Song would you choose?  What slogan?

Political Torture

I really enjoyed this comment that Laura Ingraham made after Tuesday’s GOP debate:

“It’s pretty hard to debate McCain on the torture question since he WAS tortured when he was at the Hanoi Hilton.  So he has personal experience with torture… and our only experience with torture is listening to Hillary do that black voice.”

No matter how many times you watch, it never gets less horrifying.  While all candidates (even those in the Grand Old Party) say stupid things from time to time, this reaches new depths.  At least there are still politicians with dignity.  He may not have flashy phony accents, but he has a track record balancing budgets without raising taxes.  Mitt Romney, an enormously successful CEO, venture capitalist, and management consultant, will do incredible things for our country and our economy.  He won’t, however, do it while sounding like Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby.