TV Watch

I’ve been a fan of Law & Order for about 15 years. In recent years the show has focused more on creating sensational and convoluted storylines, as opposed to the traditional “prosecute the killer for the crime” which has been it’s bread and butter. The season premiere last Friday was a further example of this unfortunate trend, providing misleading and incorrect information to frame prosecutions of Bush-era terror policies.

It takes all the real drama out of a murder investigations to have the prosecution based on memos.

Boring, and perhaps the first time that I have ever rooted against the prosecution.

Still Un-Managing

We made a decision some time ago to avoid too many political diatribes on these august (web)pages. I feel compelled to re-enter the fray this one time due to a recent occurrence that brings to mind President Obama’s poor managerial skills.

A friend of President Obama, prominent Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, was arrested when someone called 911 as he tried to enter his house without a key. He cried racism. Obama commented that he was unaware of the facts of the case, but believed the Cambridge Police acted “stupidly.”

Since then various law enforcement organizations have cried foul, many have vouched for the quality and effectiveness of the arresting officer, and the local district attorney has contemplated releasing recordings that could actually paint Gates in a very poor light if the arresting officer’s assertions are true.

This isn’t the first time that the President has waded into waters far too shallow for his situation. Since his initial poor statements he has made an effort to clarify, but it is still emblematic of his generally poor record on issues that are ultimately inconsequential to the office. I’d worry less if it wasn’t the first time, and I suspect it will not be the last.

No Lamentation Here?

The Croc Trend was lamented by lemare in this September 2007 post. I have good news for her, and bad news for many others.

Crocs, Inc. may be on its last legs.

According to the article linked above, aggressive expansion financed by debt has left the company in a very poor position to cope with the reduced demand of a recession AND the long-lasting nature of their product.

Thoughts? Please share below.

On a related/unrelated note I have a new favorite footwear item:

The Lamentations of Lowry – Chapter 17: Wussification

One of my son’s favorite movies is The Incredibles. He fancies himself a speedster like Dash and loves to demonstrate how his little legs can move.

One of the themes in the film is how everyone loses when people are not allowed to be their best selves. It is a philosophical sibling in some ways to Atlas Shrugged.

The trend towards a toothless and bland populace may be traced back to the early 1980’s, with toys and films that affected an entire generation. From commentator Eric Snider-

In the 1980s, the Care Bears were a major contributor to the wussification of America. Children who once roamed the streets barefoot, playing with broken glass and poking dogs with sticks, were now taught to share their feelings and to care about people. Fun cartoons like G.I. Joe reminded kids how satisfying it is to kill others; lame cartoons like The Care Bears said, “Let’s all sit around and talk about our hopes and dreams!” And what were the consequences? Everyone born since about 1975 thinks they’re “special” and “important” and “unique,” when in fact most of them are “ordinary” and “useless.” Thanks a heap, Care Bears.

The Care Bears Movie is a disturbing glimpse into an Orwellian future where caring reigns supreme and good old-fashioned misanthropy is forbidden. The Care Bears — emotionless, ambisexual drones who frolic nakedly in the clouds and giggle in a most unsettling fashion — rule Earth with an iron, furry fist, spying on citizens in a search for the slightest hint of uncaring. Each Care Bear is named according to its personality: Friend Bear, Cheer Bear, Tenderheart Bear, Pansy Bear, Wuss Bear, Big Fat Crybaby Bear, etc. There’s also the gloomy Grumpy Bear, who is clearly a genetic defect and must be looked upon with pity and loathing by the others of his species.

Much deep reflection is prompted by this pop culture cancer. It does make one wonder- What kind of bear would one be?

I hope none at all. Maybe the hunter who shoots the bear and makes a rug.

The Lamentations of Lowry – Chapter 16: Truth in Advertising

A woman sued Cap’n Crunch, or rather Quaker Oats, on the basis that Crunchberries are not actual fruit!

Awesome.

The blog I linked to has a fantastic line:

Judge England also noted another federal court had “previously rejected substantially similar claims directed against the packaging of Fruit Loops [sic] cereal, and brought by these same Plaintiff attorneys.”  He found that their attack on “Crunchberries” should fare no better than their prior claims that “Froot Loops” did not contain real froot.

I tried to grow a froot tree once.

On a similar note, this is an interesting article about the history of Grape Nuts, which are neither grape nor nuts. It’s actually…BREAD. Burned, dried, smashed bread. It makes you manly too.

Has Grape Nuts ever been sued as was the Cap’n? I don’t know, but in posing the question on Instapundit, Ann Althouse prompted this historical bit from Eugene Volokh. Coca-Cola was sued for not actually containing significant amounts of coca, as in the plant from which cocaine is derived. From the Circuit Court’s 1914 opinion:

‘The use of a compound name does not necessarily * * * indicate that the article to which the name is applied contains the substances whose names make up the compound. Thus, soda water contains no soda; the butternut contains no butter; cream of tartar contains no cream; nor milk of lime any milk. Grape fruit is not the fruit of the grape; nor is bread fruit the fruit of bread; the pineapple is foreign to both the pine and the apple; and the manufactured food known as Grape Nuts contains neither grapes nor nuts.‘ …

We conclude that the name Coca Cola as applied to plaintiff’s product, while undoubtedly suggestive, is not so substantially and really deceptive as to invalidate the registered mark.

It’s the pause that refreshes.

Historical Blunders

A student teacher has to draw up an American history test for his tenth grade history students, focusing on post-World War II national events. He figures he will make it easy, seeing as how they’re just about to break for Memorial Day weekend.

Question #1: Name the intern who had inappropriate relations with President Bill Clinton in 1995.

This one stumps some of the students. What was that intern’s name?!!! One student writes, “Lebowski.” Student teacher laughs while he grades this test, but really enjoys the legendary response of “Martin Luther King, Jr.” What other conspiracy theories is this brilliant kid keeping from the United States? He certainly must know what goes down at Area 51.

Question #9: Name the hippie music festival that took place in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s.

Again, some kids are stumped. One girl in particular has no idea. She asks for help. Student Teacher says, “I’ll give you a clue. It starts with a ‘W’.” Girl rolls her eyes. “Okay, then an ‘o’ and another ‘o’, then a ‘d’. Girl’s eyes light up and she scribbles down, “Woodlog.” Student Teacher interjects and says, “Try again.” After thinking, she crosses out her first feeble attempt and confidently writes, “Woodshop.”

Woodshop vs. Woodstock (easily confusable!)

Heaven help our teachers.

*Thanks, CJ, for the story!*

Staying Classy

On comedian Wanda Sykes stint at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner:

From Deadline Hollywood’s Nikki Finke:

…I do think her overall performance was inappropriate for the room, and I say that as a liberal Democrat. Sykes herself was prescient when she began her performance with these remarks: “This is truly an honor to be here. It really is. I keep getting asked the same question, ‘Are you nervous? Are you nervous?’ With this administration, what is there to be nervous about? If I do a good job, I get great press. If I screw it up royally, Tim Geithner gives me a bonus.”

Mike Lupica from the New York Post also weighed in.

Isn’t the real issue here one of class? And not upper and lower class, but the class borne of consideration and self-respect.

But we’ve lost that. We’re not even trying, and the media doesn’t care enough to be fair. And society loses.

The Lamentations of Lowry – Chapter 15: A Requiem

This post truly is a lamentation. I lament the fall of greatness, a fall that seems premature given the potential already demonstrated by this man, Vince, the marketer of the marvelous ShamWow.

It is alleged that Vince, full name Vince Shlomi (Mazel tov!), was in a violent confrontation with a purported prostitute. After coming to terms on their arrangement it seems the woman bit Vince’s tongue and refused to let go. He hit her, many times as some pictures I won’t link to show, and he fled to the lobby of his posh South Beach hotel to summon security.

This is a most unsavory turn of events. Clearly Billy Mays now holds the high ground in the InfoWars.

What other shining stars have fallen ignominously due to ill-thought ventures?

• The one-and-only Paul Reubens (see this if necessary)
• The great Wesley Snipes

Who makes your list of star-crossed personalities?

LOL!!!!! IRF 4ever!!!!

Eric Snider has a great column on the different kinds of comments found on the Internet.

I enjoyed the column, but thought it missed one other category- the one where people comment on posts that are many months old. If it weren’t for the recent comments box on the right of this blog I would even notice some of these, but I find them curious. As a visitor, I would think that seeing a lack of activity for many moons would indicate a lack of interest or even fatigue on the issue (such as Prop 8). Come on people, just because you have freedom of speech doesn’t mean that you have to use it.

Another missed category is the over-enthusiastic mommy/friend blog commenters. These are true comments from a relative’s blog:

oh. my. goodness.
these are sooo fabulous. your sister is so lucky to have you and your budding talent come and visit!

or

I have been stalkin your blog for a while. I think I found it through {redacted} a long time ago. I LOVE your pictures. You do such a great job. Thanks for all the tips. If you ever want to stalk me you can email me, our blog is private. {redacted}@gmail.com

I could post many more. The last one is especially amusing. Let’s reimagine the comment:

Hi. I don’t know you, but I like to look at your blog. Especially the pictures. Of your kids. You don’t know anything about me. We’ve never met. You can’t even see my blog unless you’re invited, so there is no real way to know if you’d even want to see it unless you actually contact me so that I can invite you. And once I’ve invited you I will make you my friend. My forever friend!!

Anyone else read/received some wacky comments?

The Lamentations of Lowry – Chapter 14: Demons Among Us

My previous post on the rampant TV-caused teenage pregancy caused me to investigate further the major perpetrators of the broader media-borne cultural malaise. For your consideration, the Demons Among Us:

This joker seems to play a notorious lothario on Gossip Girl. Whenever I see him I want to punch his smarmy face. Is he considered attractive with his greasy hair and retro-moneyed attire?

Many women seem to have forgotten the days when this guy had a head about 2 times too big for his body. Now we’re supposed to believe that he is “dreamy.” In reality, he seems more like one separated at birth.

Finally, the Shmonas Shmothers. I dain to mention their name. As this videographic evidence shows, there is myriad evidence as to the unsuitability of these children. Fey gesticulation, feminized voices, overly done coifs, and emasculated attire are all evidences of their perniciousness. As I often say, “Never trust a man in skinny jeans.” One more thing…they can’t sing, yet we are forcefed their mediocrity.

If I intend to provide an appropriate counterbalance to these lupus in ovis aries’ guise, and I do, there is one clear place to start the list of worthy men. These paragons require no embellishment:

Jack Bauer

Jonas Blaine/President Palmer

Jean-Luc Picard (I know…it’s been a while)

Who else makes the Man List?