LeMare’s Celebrity Lookalikes

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO DISTURBED IN YOUR LIFE?  I have a 67% resemblance to THE HOFF!!!!

Click here to watch me morph into the Hoff.

Happy Christmas

I happened upon this video, which hits several key points:

Hasselhoff Cameo…check

1980′s kitschy TV show…check

G.O.B. as the voice of K.I.T.T…check

Chance I will be watching? 100%

The Hoff rides again!

This is a bit outside of what I intend to post here on IRF, but it seemed appropriate:

 

David Hasselhoff is in talks to appear on NBC’s “Knight Rider,” reprising his role as Michael Knight from the original series.

 

Can anything keep The Hoff down? Apparently not. Read this for more.  

[full disclosure: Lowdogg has owned and enjoyed both a Knight Rider three-wheeler and Knight Rider bicycle]

Weekly Wrap-up

Greetings.  Apologies to all for my shirking duties this week.  I’m reporting from San Fran, where I want to vent about rental cars.   My company-to-be generally rents mid-sized cars.  They asked if I wanted to upgrade for $1 to an Impala, and since I don’t think of Impalas being upgradish, I passed.  Hence, I ended up in some sketchy Dodge sport utility wagon.  Manual windows are one thing, manual locks, I can deal with for a few days time.  But there is one thing that I have absolutely zero tolerance for in an automobile:  No map light.   Can you imagine pulling over to open the door to signal the dome light to go on so you could read your Mapquest printout?  I informed my new boss that I have no room in my life for map-light-less vehicles, and I WILL be spending the extra $1/day to spring for the Impala, and her map-lights aplenty. 

The Hoff:  Pammy Girl is really starting to be quite the Hoff Informant for IRF, and we couldn’t be more pleased.  Here we see that the Hoff knows how to treat a lady on a date.  

 Search Term Sunday, Halloween Edition:  Here are some of the funniest search terms that lead readers to IRF this week (inspired from JL’s post on Slutty Halloween Costumes):

• slutty belle halloween costumes:  Why Bell, the wholesome one in an apron?  Why not Jasmine or Ariel, they’re already dressed as women of ill repute!
• secondhand cheap sexy dorothy costume:  See above?  Dorthy is dressed so wholesomely–why corrupt that?  Why not just dress like that trollup, Glinda?
• slutty male halloween costumes:  Good thing I’m moving to San Francisco.  I will be able to answer this question soon.
• sexy umpire costumeS FOR LESS:  Wow, this trampy sports fan is REALLY INTERESTED in a bargain.
• Flintstones slutty costume:  I accidentally attempted this one year when I was 12.  I was really into sewing and bought a pattern and some white felt to make the Wilma dress.  My innocent eyes didn’t realize the the Butterick was peddling a slutty halloween patter.  Fortunately my mother saw through it immediately and went to something flirty, like an ER doctor in full scrubs.
• sexy snow white costume under 30 dollars:  I’m irate.  Not only is this person trying to make sweet little Snow White corrupt (when Cinderella is the obvious choice), but they want it clearly made out of polyester, for that kind of price!
• slutty plus size halloween costume:  Sluts come in all sizes on October 31st.
• trotsky halloween costume:  Massimo, was this YOUR search?? 

Posted by LeMare

Weekly Wrap-up

Announcement:

I (LeMare) am out of the closet now about my plans for the future.  I have accepted a job in San Francisco, and will be moving from one blue state to another at the beginning of November.  Chicago and I have had a good run, but it is time to part ways.

The Hoff:

TMZ reports:  “DAVID HASSELHOFF POISONED!” Thanks to PammyGirl for for bringing this important story to our attention.  It looks like he is going to pull through, gratefully.

Search Term Saturday: 

• slutty pregnant costumes:  My goodness.  This person is going to hell.
• Shatner +Naked:  Joe Miller, please don’t take this as a challenge with your Photoshop skills.
• scarlet letter halloween costumes:  Someone really wants to dress as Hester Prynne?  Is this how prudish women who need to cover up celebrate Slutty Halloween?
• Chairman Mao cross stitch:  Could said sampler really exist?  I WANT one.
• why girls think its ok to dress slutty on Halloween:  I have no idea.  I blame Party City.
• slutty eskimo halloween costumes:  I’m trying to picture it, and I’m not liking what I’m seeing.  Isn’t Slutty Inuit more politically correct?

Take Some Time For Yourself Today

I was just cleaning out my email inbox, when I found a note from Joe Miller with the subject:  “Take some time for yourself today.”

I had to open it to remind myself what Joe Miller had sent.  All that was in the body of the email was this:

I thought you could use this.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cejq10jZ0kQ 

I love the title:  Un gran video de un gran cantante!

Another year older.

While I was in Japan, the world celebrated David Hasselhoff (and Massimo’s) Birthday on July 17th.  The internet has magically allowed me to show my compatability with The Hoff based on his birthday and my own.  Here are the results:

physical		85%
emotional		22%
intellectual		42%
total		50%

Physical compatability–85%???  Wow, THAT doesn’t happen every day.  Is it wrong that I’m offended that we are 42% intellectually compatable?  I was hoping it would be more like 0%.

Happy Birthday to the Hoff, and to Massimo, a loyal IRF reader.

A Nice Slice of American Man Snack!

Thanks be to Massimo for referring us to this little gem in the New York Post. 

ONE NICE SLICE

July 11, 2007 — DAVID Hasselhoff is back on the singles scene. Everyone’s favorite lifeguard showed up to the Playboy July Fourth party at the Playboy mansion and spent much of the time flirting with “The Departed” actress Sallie Toussaint . Later, Toussaint, Playboy’s August celeb babe of the month, told a pal, “David’s my childhood crush, and such a nice slice of American man snack!” As for why she chose to pose in a bikini rather than the buff, Toussaint laughed, “Like most women, I only want to be seen naked in a very dark room.”

Miller Monday – A Blog for a Climate in Crisis!

This past Saturday might have been the most important day in the history of our planet.  As many of you now know, our poor planet had been suffering from some really bad global warmings.   That is, before Al Gore and a few hundred pop stars flexed their musical muscles.  Ever since then, the problem of global warmings has been solved; and not a moment too soon, in this humble doomsday-ist’s perspective.  I personally don’t know what I would have done, had Madonna not personally challenged the crowd in the U.K. to, “Jump up and down if you want to stop Global Warmings.”  I do believe, however, that the crux of the event occurred in New York, when the Pussycat Dolls threw down the gauntlet for change to the roaring anthem of, “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me.”  Global warmings be gone!

You know, it seems like whenever a group of concerned musicians get together all of our problems do seem to disappear.  It’s nice to know there are moral exemplars out there that seem to know just what to do to solve all of our problems.  It just feels so good to know that there are people out there who understand all of the world’s major political and socioeconomic issues, and know how to solve them.  Take for example Live Aid.  Back in 1985, the once lead singer of the unimportant rock act, the Boomtown Rats, Bob Geldorf, organized an event to end famine in Ethiopia.  In hindsight, I’m sure it’s hard to believe that the now booming metropolis of Ethiopia ever needed savin’, but it sure did!  Thanks Bob Geldorf!  In fact, Live Aid was so successful in turning Ethiopia in to the Wall Street it is today that Mr. Geldorf decided to throw another event in 2005, cleverly titled Live 8.  Because no one in the world at that time knew anything about poverty, Mr. Geldorf wanted once again to assemble a bunch or Rock Stars to tell us all about it.  Now everyone knows about poverty – and we know it’s going to be history. 

And who could forget the most important concert for change of all time: Woodstock.  It was billed as three days of peace and music.  Conceptualize this concept with me, “Let’s get dirtiest, least moral, most drug addicted demographic we can find, and put them on a few acres of eroded farmland, with no food, fresh water, or toilets, and then we can find a whole bunch of fun.  Let’s not forget the names of the powerhouse acts that helped transform the planet into the  Peace Haven it is today: Country Joe McDonald, Bert Sommer, Incredible String Band, Tim Hardin, Quill, Keef Hartley Band, Ten Years After,  and Sha-Na-Na, just to name a few .

After the disaster that was Katrina, we all huddled around our TV sets while millionaire Rock Stars begged for our nickels and dimes.  After September 11^th, Rock Stars sang to heal our emotional wounds.

I ask you, is there anything they can’t fix? Seriously I feel like I owe my very existence to Rock Stars!   For that reason I am proposing a few more concerts that I believe would be of great benefit to the human race:

1.       AIDS Aid – A concert for AIDS.  This concert could educate people that there is a disease called AIDS.  Attending the event would probably cure it.  In fact, I envision a bunch of Rock Stars wearing lab coats rocking out a cure for the cause up on the stage!  Rad!

2.       Lemare Aid – A concert for the unwed.  This concert would raise awareness that Lemare is still available for courtship.  We could broadcast from 7 or 8 locations, including Chicago, Los Angeles, New York, and Provo.  What would be the harm in a little duet between Mick Jagger and Lemare singing, I don’t know, “One” backed up by U2 themselves!

3.       Retardation Aid – A concert for retards.  Did you know that 1 in every 3 people is retarded?  Lets cure retardation, people!

4.       Divorce Aid – Nobody understands Divorce better than Rock Stars.  Let them cure it for the rest of us!  I think that maybe Brittany Spears better headline this one.

5.       Hoff Aid – A concert for the Hoff.  This concert is aimed at getting Night Rider back in the ABC Primetime slot.  Although I think we all would like some brand new episodes, we would settle for reruns.  Come on Elton John, are you down?

Sincerely,

Joe Miller

Of course he would.

When one has already checked his pride at the door time  and time again, why should we be surprised when music videos such as this surface?

 I can’t decide if I like the little alien, the cherubs, or the flying Hoff more…