I Can Hear You Now – Part IX

Several months ago prior to a marathon at Disney World there was an exhibition of exercise equipment and tools. My friend stepped onto one device and was informed that he had large bone structure. A female friend of ours stepped on the device and was told that she too had large bones.

She stepped off the device and proceeded to say this (rather loudly) while high-fiving my friend:

“Hooray for big boners!”

As the words escaped her lips she realized her mistake.

I Can Hear You Now – Part VIII

This was not overheard strictly speaking, as I heard it on the radio. I am in Atlanta on business and stumbled on “Delilah.” I normally can’t listen more than 2 seconds, but this one caught my ear. A woman called in and told Delilah how thankful she was for her show. She wanted Delilah to play a song for her husband, who is of Native American descent. Apparently they make moccasins and stuff.

Her request to Delilah?

“Do you have any authentic Indian music? Maybe the theme from Pocahontas, Colors of the Wind?

It doesn’t get more authentic than that, right?

I Can Hear You Now

The entire city of San Francisco is buzzing with discussion of the Anti-China (Free Tibet) protests with the torch relay.

Overheard coworker:  “All I can say is that when I look down on those protesters, none of them better be wearing any clothes, because if they are, they’re all hypocrites!”

I Can Hear You Now

Overheard Friday night on a train from Union Station in DC.  This man was allegedly talking to someone on the other end of his phone and these were two of his snippets:

“I have in my head an entire way to make a civilization work.  I always study it.”

“I stay away from computer games because they’re addictive.  Like a drug.”

Feeling chatty after his call, he went on to engage the three rows around him in conversation.  Politics came up and he gave everyone the inside scoop that Giuliani is a terrorist and that he has two of the mob families in his back pocket, evidenced by their refusing to coordinate a hit on him that three other families were planning.  Hmm.  Why hasn’t Newsweek picked up on this?

I Can Hear You Now – Part V

Overheard while walking down State Street tonight:

 ”She was a lactating lesbian!”

My friend and I considered ourselves fortunate that we walked by at that exact moment.  

Posted by LeMare

I Can Hear You Now – Part IV

While waiting for our stylish Sienna minivan to pull up at Milwaukee Airport Hertz lot, an older man wheeled his luggage by, cradling his cell phone into his shoulder while balancing a large flip chart.  He stated very loudly:

“I don’t remember her name.  Heavy set… Very artistic…”

One night stand? Business comrade? Distant relative? How soul piercing it would be if you ever heard someone describe you that way.

I Can Hear You Now – Part III

Our previous “I Can Hear You Now” Posts have all been us overhearing OTHER people’s conversations…Today I will share a lapse in judgement, class, and manners on my part as my friend and I were out to lunch in Bucktown.  Only AFTER this exchange, did we another patron overheard us talking, while looking at the roly-poly hostess in an unfortunately clingy dress: 

“That should NEVER happen–not with so many good restrictive undergarments on the market.”

I Can Hear You Now Part II

A Capitol Hill correspondent submitted this line that he overheard walking to Union Station. A lady on the phone said,

“I got a man on the side and another man on the side. ‘Cuz DC so big.”

I Can Hear You Now Part I

Welcome to the first installment of “I Can Hear You Now,” a tribute to overheard cellphone conversations. This little gem happened on Thursday night in Dupont Circle. A twenty-something business woman with a nice strand of pearls on said loudly:

“What I’m wishing you’d do is just die.”

Now this is a line that I’ll have to remember one day…