Posts filed under ‘Weekly Wrap-up’
Greetings. Apologies to all for my shirking duties this week. I’m reporting from San Fran, where I want to vent about rental cars. My company-to-be generally rents mid-sized cars. They asked if I wanted to upgrade for $1 to an Impala, and since I don’t think of Impalas being upgradish, I passed. Hence, I ended up in some sketchy Dodge sport utility wagon. Manual windows are one thing, manual locks, I can deal with for a few days time. But there is one thing that I have absolutely zero tolerance for in an automobile: No map light. Can you imagine pulling over to open the door to signal the dome light to go on so you could read your Mapquest printout? I informed my new boss that I have no room in my life for map-light-less vehicles, and I WILL be spending the extra $1/day to spring for the Impala, and her map-lights aplenty.
The Hoff: Pammy Girl is really starting to be quite the Hoff Informant for IRF, and we couldn’t be more pleased. Here we see that the Hoff knows how to treat a lady on a date.
Search Term Sunday, Halloween Edition: Here are some of the funniest search terms that lead readers to IRF this week (inspired from JL’s post on Slutty Halloween Costumes):
- slutty belle halloween costumes: Why Bell, the wholesome one in an apron? Why not Jasmine or Ariel, they’re already dressed as women of ill repute!
- secondhand cheap sexy dorothy costume: See above? Dorthy is dressed so wholesomely–why corrupt that? Why not just dress like that trollup, Glinda?
- slutty male halloween costumes: Good thing I’m moving to San Francisco. I will be able to answer this question soon.
- sexy umpire costumeS FOR LESS: Wow, this trampy sports fan is REALLY INTERESTED in a bargain.
- Flintstones slutty costume: I accidentally attempted this one year when I was 12. I was really into sewing and bought a pattern and some white felt to make the Wilma dress. My innocent eyes didn’t realize the the Butterick was peddling a slutty halloween patter. Fortunately my mother saw through it immediately and went to something flirty, like an ER doctor in full scrubs.
- sexy snow white costume under 30 dollars: I’m irate. Not only is this person trying to make sweet little Snow White corrupt (when Cinderella is the obvious choice), but they want it clearly made out of polyester, for that kind of price!
- slutty plus size halloween costume: Sluts come in all sizes on October 31st.
- trotsky halloween costume: Massimo, was this YOUR search??
Posted by LeMare
I (LeMare) am out of the closet now about my plans for the future. I have accepted a job in San Francisco, and will be moving from one blue state to another at the beginning of November. Chicago and I have had a good run, but it is time to part ways.
Search Term Saturday:
- slutty pregnant costumes: My goodness. This person is going to hell.
- Shatner +Naked: Joe Miller, please don’t take this as a challenge with your Photoshop skills.
- scarlet letter halloween costumes: Someone really wants to dress as Hester Prynne? Is this how prudish women who need to cover up celebrate Slutty Halloween?
- Chairman Mao cross stitch: Could said sampler really exist? I WANT one.
- why girls think its ok to dress slutty on Halloween: I have no idea. I blame Party City.
- slutty eskimo halloween costumes: I’m trying to picture it, and I’m not liking what I’m seeing. Isn’t Slutty Inuit more politically correct?
What kind of world are we living in when Britney loses custody of her kids and continues to slide downwards while Marie Osmond tears it up doing the mambo on DWTS? Perhaps October is a cursed month for pop stars under 30, but we’ll continue to watch this trend over the next three weeks.
We continue to be perplexed by search terms that usher readers into the gates of IRF, but this one is just superb. Some curious soul googled, “Was that that tremendously fat woman.” Let’s hope we aided this person in his quest. And with a little luck, we’ll become the #1 listing for the search term “shigella.”
For those looking for a swanky black evening dress that will certainly impress at say, an upcoming 10-year high school reunion in the Naperville area, might I suggest this little number which a good friend has decided to get for said occasion.
And finally, may we announce the glorious inaugural IRF Halloween Costume Contest to be judged by Joe Miller. Creativity and intelligence is encouraged and be warned that any costumes we’ve already ridiculed from the Party City catalog will not be serious contenders. Kiddies, parents, even pets, are all eligible to take a stab at the grand prize. Send your photos before the stroke of midnight on Oct. 31 to inrareformguestpost AT yahoo DOT com.
IRF Presidential Straw Poll Results:
- Mitt Romney: 63%
- Hillary Clinton: 16%
- Rudy Giuliani: 5%
- Fred Thompson: 5%
- Barack Obama: 5%
- Other Republican: 5%
Links to check out:
- SPOTD’s Awesome Video Saturday features a very funny parody of a commercial for Spider Man 3 Action Figures. I didn’t even see the movie, and I still found the parody hilarious.
- Become a Gamer on LifetimeTV.com. I think this is hilarious. What percentage of Lifetime TV viewers (besides LeMare) woud play games online? Well, do yourself a favor next time you have a night in and begin a lifelong Mahjong addiction.
- National Review has an interesting article about Republican Presidential candidates and their rhetoric vs. their record.
Search Term Sunday
old country buffet carrot salad: Sick, sick, and sick. IRF does not condone buffets (no matter WHAT LeMare’s extended family may choose to do at meal-time). Whomever this searcher is, IRF has nothing for you, except for help from your extremely misguided ways.
attractive gingers: I don’t believe we’ve discussed this on IRF, even though there are readers who fit this description. A ginger sumo-wrestler is competing in Japan as we speak. Some women go for the big boys… The rest of us have Danny Bonaduce…
men don’t call after a good date: Stop googling such a ridiculous topic. Men, on the whole, are idiots, especially with women. He doesn’t deserve you. Don’t call and appear desperate. Cut your losses and move on.
liking music makes you gay: This is ABSOLUTELY not true. Liking Cher, however… Or Liza… Or Air Supply, Joe Miller.
high heels crooked toes: It is true that LeMare’s foot surgery referred to this week in the Croc post falls into this category. She still maintains that the surgical boot is sexier.
joe miller naked: We’ve had requests of this nature in the search terms about that Hilton girl… and Claudia Cardinale, but this is the FIRST TIME someone has requested a photo of the one and only Joe Miller, sans apparel. Imagine this person’s disappointment when the only photo of Joe Miller on IRF involves a Hawaiian shirt.
Guest Post Submission: We have set up a new email address for you to submit Guest Posts or ideas for posts that you would like for one of us to write about. We’d like to hear about pop culture, food, movies, books, music, television, sports, politics or even a Limerick (a not so subtle plea to Massimo). Please send gust posts to inrareformguestpost at yahoo dot com.
IRF 2008 Presidential Straw Poll: If you haven’t voted yet, please make sure to cast your vote in our little survey. The voting is completely anonymous. We’ll announce the winner in next week’s Weekly Wrap-up.
IRF Recipes is growing slowly but surely. Please add YOUR favorite recipes in the comments section. This week I tried a new recipe which I highly recommend (compliments of my friend, Cassie). It is a Fruit Salsa with Cinnamon & Brown Sugar chips.
Links to Check Out
- TRAVEL: IRF reader, Stephanie, discovered an interesting site for all you world travelers. Among other things, TravBuddy enerates a map of all the countries you have been to. My showing is embarrassing–6%–clearly time for me to take another trip. You all go fill our your own maps and tell me your score. Which IRF reader has visited the highest percentage of the world? My money is on Heidi.
- FASHION: Last week we drew your attention to the work of our favorite Fashion Stylist, this week we bring you You Look Fab where we learn that purple is very big this fall.
- PHOTO BOOKS: LeMare’s sister, Kerry, discovered an interesting way to preserve your photographic memories. Blurb is a company that allows you to download free software so you can design your own soft or hard-bound coffee table book. No more dealing with silly double-sided tape, dye-cuts, stickers, and all that other scrapbooking nonsense I got suckered into a decade ago. I think of it as classy scrapbooking. I’m doing a Japan scrapbook first, and then I’ll move to previous trips. A good gift idea, too–Travels, weddings, cook books… Endless possibilities.
- TELEVISION: SPOTD has me excited for the return of The Office with the Season Premier trailer. I can’t wait. If I can’t have Arrested Development anymore, at least I have The Office.
Search Term Saturday
geico lizard costume: Oh my goodness, could it be? Has my October 31st attire question been solved? I just found one on ebay, but it gave me the creeps.
remains of the day lunchbox: This search has been so frequent over the last week, that Joe Miller has suggested we commission a reasonable facsimile to be manufactured that we can peddle on this very site.
massage embarassing moment: This has been frequent lately, as well. Apparently our Guest Poster is not the only one to have experienced this brand of mortification.
Flannel Shirt Boyfriend Arm Pillow: This Harriet Carter fan is always welcome back on IRF.
Golden Girls makeup bags: DO THESE REALLY EXIST? WHY DO I NOT HAVE ONE?
scott baio in speedo pics: GOOD NIGHT! Do we look like Hugh Heffner here, peddling smut?
what to do with a whiny male co-worker: I’m smiling. JL certainly learned this the hard way with Larry’s Manifesto.
Links to Check Out
- JL found this incredible tale of one very courageous bridesmaid‘s battle with turquoise taffeta.
- All of you fashionistas out there need to check out the work of this Fashion Stylist.
- IRF reader, Critts, found this site that has the cutest aprons in the world. Cute other things too. LeMare will be doing all her Christmas shopping on Layla Grace this year.
We’ve added some new videos to the the Vod Pod in the margin including a couple tributes to the soldiers. Hope you enjoy.
IRF reader, Joey, sent me an email today trying to give me nightmares, and included three quotes from Democratic Presidential hopefuls. Which one do you find the most disturbing?
- “My secretary of Labor would be a union member. All of those union-busting attorneys would be gone.”–Bill Richardson
- “There ain’t no such thing as free trade unless its fair trade, and that’s not what’s happening now.”–Joseph Biden
- “As long as I’m alive and breathing, I will be standing with you. Think about a president of the United States walking a picket line.”–John Edwards
Search Term Saturday: Here are some of the most amusing search engine terms that people used to find IRF the past week:
- hoff eating a hamburger: I think that IRF is starting to achieve quite a comprehensive library of some of the Hoff’s greatest achievements. And some of his worst.
- “cincinnati jake” “golden girls”: This is a person after my own heart. This has to be one of my favorite Sophia-isms on the Golden Girls.
- remains of the day lunchbox: I, too, would like to procure one of these blessed items. You know, kids hate eating lunch at school, but they’re a whole lot happier if…
- looks fade with time: I still haven’t figured out which IRF post this web surfer ended up finding, but it is true. I asked my mom when her looks started going downhill. She said 40. I wonder what my mother would say as to MY looks fading…
- threw away panties: I laughed out loud and immediately knew which post this person was directed to.
- “some for selling some for keeping”: I wish these Guffman fans would make a comment so we could welcome them to our online community.
For the next two weeks, I (LeMare) will probably not be posting as I would rather spend my time in Japan seeing the ancient home of Ninjitsu rather than scoping out internet cafes. Be prepared for some interesting stories. This time, I’m climbing Mt. Fuji… The last time I left the borders was the stuff legends are made out of, but not the good legends. In honor of my impending travels, I thought I would share my travel muse.
Search Term Saturday:
spanking, OR wedgie, OR humiliation: Another fine parent finds their way to IRF.
mitt romney bathing suit picture: What manner of sick degenerate are you??? You do not google to find out about his economic and managerial brilliance? About his stance on the issues?
david the gnome tattoo: I have a soft spot in my mind for gnomes. I do. But I have to think that a gnome tattoo… would be one of those things that would leave you thinking, “WHAT DID I DO?” in about 5 years or less. Is David a special gnome?
why would someone break up by email: A very good question and one that I fear they didn’t find a clear answer to on IRF. The reason is a certain lack of kahones. And an element of not caring and all around disrespect. I’ve done it and I won’t apologize for it. Sometimes the past of least resistance is the way to go. Anything over 2 weeks warrents at least a phone call break up. And there you’re good for a few months (more, if you’re me).
Hide-A-Pipe Stump: This search happens with alarming frequency on IRF. Perhaps Harriet Carter really is onto something?
embarrassing pictures of paris hilton: This criteria is FAR too broad… being that it encompasses every photo that has ever been snapped of the ex-con.
Justin Timberlake requires Beano imported while he is on tour. Beano. I didn’t know anyone actually took it… and if they did, I thought they purchase it with darkly-tinted glasses.
Paris Hilton has found religion. Apparently she now reads the Bible. That explains the new pictures of her in Hawaii bending over in her string bikini.
Passive-Aggressive Notes continues to amuse me. This week they published the rantings of a pregnant woman who curses the person who ate her sandwich for attempting to starve her baby.
Search-term Saturday: Some highlights of the search terms used to find IRF.
humiliation of david – According to Pammy Girl, who just returned from a trip to Italy, David has absolutely NOTHING to be humiliated about.
start shave leg knee – I’m reminded of what the Golden Girls say about shaving above the knee.
boil chicken “plastic bag” moist – I pray I never get invited to dinner at this person’s home.
First Day of Summer
This week, we celebrated the official start of summer. On the longest day of the year, I foolishly forgot my sunglasses, and was immediately reminded of Geek:
They just don’t make rappers like they used to.
Search-term Sunday: Here are the most amusing items people have typed into search engines over the past 7 days to find IRF.
Beautiful Older Women Calendars – This is not available currently about IRF, but IRF writers, Ms. Phenix, Myrt, JL, and LeMare are not exactly 19 anymore… Perhaps we can find a photographer and give our readers what they want?
“prairie dog” funny – I don’t think we’ve spoken about Prairie Dogs, but Say Yes! To Hoboken has a delightful 5 second video that fits the bill.
strapless dress for 9 year olds – Have we learned nothing from Mary Kate & Ashley? Have we learned nothing from Jon Benet? How would a strapless dress stay up on a pre-pubescent? I’m calling Social Services. If you’re the sick degenerate mother who searched that term, I’ll track you down.
how to make a beauty queen sash - If you actually WIN, they give you a sash; why should anyone need to know how to make one. Is there a beauty pageant counterfit underground?
wheatgrass throwing up and vomiting – Someone have a problem at Jamba Juice?
African Jungle Island clothes – Africa isn’t known for its islands. Are they speaking of Madagascar? My recommendation? Short sleeves, breathable fabrics.
“manny” mannequin – I googled this myself just to see if other Manny Mannequin’s existed beside’s JL’s sister’s. They do. Even robotic mannequin’s. The stuff nightmares are made of.
What a great week here and IRF is pleased as people leave more and more comments on the posts!
Search Term Sunday: Here at IRF, we derive a great deal of amusement by looking at the search terms that people use to find IRF. It can be anything as benign as “Waiting For Guffman Quotes” but some are quite random and amusing. IRF hopes you enjoy these as much as we do–stay tuned for the weekly highlights. Over the last seven days, here are some of the most amusing search terms:
onion booty (What is an “onion booty”? While we have mentioned Onions in the Recipe section, and booties come up occasionally, but an onion booty. Is it some body image issue? Like “muffin top” or “saddle bags”? Someone, PLEASE tell me what an onion booty is!)
people that have a baby in their belly (or you could have searched “pregnancy”)
three leg easter stool (I know we have an ode to the song Stool Boom in Waiting For Guffman, but this person actually wants a stool. Stools are where… once upon a time you found a chair… I digress. They want an EASTER stool. They can probably find one at Harriet Carter.)
Why do Peeps expand in the microwave (Joe Miller can provide this inquiring mind an answer)
how to cook beaf (IRF does not know what “beaf” is. We CAN however, help you cook “BEEF”)
mens dancebelt stories (I wish this man was a Guffman fan, but I fear his search had nothing to do with Corky being fresh off a destroyer with nothing to his name but a dance belt and a tube of chapstick.)
“fatal blossom of the” jimson weed (I would like to shake the hand of the Golden Girls fan who googled this extremely obscure quote by Blanche)
fred “flintstone” punching in for work (I’m baffled. Not only do I not recall any IRF posts about Fred Flintstone, but we CERTAINLY have no experience in hourly jobs!)
pregnancy+waist+extender (This woman was clearly reaching out for a solution… Not sure if they found it at Harriet Carter. IRF recommends sucking it up and buying Maternity pants)
Harriet Carter Catalog employment (Dire straights… you know the job market is tough when you’re willing to peddle Decorative Hide-a-Pump Stumps.)
sword fighting peeps microwave video (who knew there was a Peep sub-culture?)
cute baby crossword (This person has no business on IRF. And I’m sure they realized it after they read JL’s Baby Shower post)
bucky covington poster (Anyone in the market to procure such an item has no business on IRF)
barbara devil voyeur (Any guesses as to what this person was hoping to learn?)
A site that you can Dress up Raven Symon (IRF does not have this functionality… yet.)
Mitt Romney: While I find this man to be the most obnoxious TV personality this side of Ryan Seacrist, IRF enjoyed Mad Money Jim Cramer saying Mitt Romney is “like the best business man in North America!” and went on to say that he would lower taxes, less government spending and would drive GROWTH in our GDP.
In Rare Form: We hope you enjoyed the new section “Search Term Sunday” and that you’re enjoying all the guests posts, as well as Phenix Friday, Myrts Blurts, and our new intern, Fun Time Nicki. IRF waits on baited breath for tomorrow’s Miller Monday.