A Tribute to the Golden Girls
Each Golden Girl fan has identified his or her own personal Golden Girl. I had a few college roommates who used to fight over who got to be Blanche (Rue McLanahan). No one ever campaigned for the title of Rose (Betty White), but the Roses among us are always all too obvious. I have the utmost appreciation for Dorothy (Bea Arthur). My heart, however, will always belong to Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty).
Everything I need to know in life, I learned from The Golden Girls. My education blessedly continues every time I tune into Lifetime, Television for Women. Out of the mercy of my heart, today I share with you the important life lessons that I have learned from the quotations of Dorothy, Sophia, Blanche, and Rose.
Game Show Host: For one hundred dollars, complete this famous phrase: “Better late than…”
Game Show Host: No, Blanche, that’s incorrect… though not entirely untrue.
Dorothy: We’re here to pay for a funeral.
Mr. Pfeiffer: Oh, the three of you planning ahead for mother?
Sophia: [walks a little bit closer] Hey Puh-feiffer, how would you like a punch in your puh-face?
Blanche: I swear with God as my witness, I will never pick up another man!… in a library… on a Saturday… unless he’s cute… and drives a nice car… Amen
Rose: Belief can be powerful. I had a sty once, and every night I would close my eyes and think about it getting smaller and smaller until it went away!
[Sophia leans on the fridge with her eyes closed]
Dorothy: Ma, what’s wrong?
Sophia: Nothing. I’m just trying to make Rose go away.
Blanche: I’ll give you anything. I’ll give you one of my sons.
Blanche: Dorothy, I’ve given this a lot of thought. I’ve had 3 sons, I’ve never had a Mercedes. Which one do you want? Biff, Doug, Skippy? No, don’t take Skippy, he’s got asthma.
Fashion/Dressing for any occasion:
Sophia: Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I’d run around naked.
Dorothy: [to Sophia] You’re a furry little gnome and we feed you too much.
Sophia: If this sauce were a person, I’d get naked and make love to it.
Dorothy: Well Blanche is certainly taking her sister’s novel better than I would. I would kill my sister Gloria if she ever wrote about my sex life.
Sophia: You would kill your sister over a pamphlet?
Comforting friends in their time of need:
Rose: How long were Jean and Pat married?
Dorothy: I think about eight years.
Rose: I wish there was something I could do… I know! I’ll make my world-famous ice cream clown sundaes! You know, the kind with the little raisin eyes and the sugar cone caps.
Dorothy: Wow, Rose, if that doesn’t fill the void, nothing will.
Rose: Blanche, did you really start shaving at eleven? That seems so young!
Blanche: Oh, I did it on a dare. You know, back where I come from, everybody thought that once you started shaving your legs, why, you’d become loose. So I shaved ’em!
Rose: What happened?
Blanche: Oh, it was an old wives’ tale. I didn’t become loose for another year and a half.
Dorothy: Anyway, Ma told me that once I started shaving I’d never be able to stop. I mean, she said I’d regret it for the rest of my life because my legs would have bristles.
Sophia: I was right! By the time you were sixteen I could grate cheese on your knees!
Blanche: You know, a lot of those European girls don’t shave under their arms.
Rose: Is that true?
Blanche: They just let it all hang out.
Blanche: Bushy as can be.
Rose: Well, what do they look like in a strapless dress?
Dorothy: Like Milton Berle.
Cherishing Old Friends:
I encourage all of you homage by leaving comments with some of YOUR favorite Golden Girls quotes.