The Fair Strategy

June 6, 2007 at 11:20 pm 3 comments

While a day at the fair is unquestionably easier than a trip to Wrigley Field, it still has its challenges: keeping your child happy, well-behaved, protected, hydrated and well-fed. Some tips from the field of Frederick, MD:

Please don’t take me in there

Make your child uncomfortable by threatening to take him to the Civil War Medicine Museum, home of wounded mannequins, if he cries one more time about the 100 degree heat or not being able to go to Mount Vernon with LeMare’s family again. The very thought of facing bloody soldiers unnerves him and does the trick. Quiet until the next stop…

Back together for the first time, again

Make him believe that this is the show you came to see at the fair, a folk group bearing uncanny vocal resemblance to Mitch and Mickey of A Mighty Wind folk fame.

Mull-pony

Shield his eyes from the gentleman sitting in front of you. Baby’s first memory certainly shouldn’t be of that. After a few hits, lovingly confide to him that he doesn’t have to listen to them if he so chooses. Come off a hero.

Unmeltable fudge

Almost award him for good behavior with fudge, that is until you see the proud slogan that it “WILL NOT melt in the heat.” Fishy. There’s something natural about fudge melting on your fingertips when there’s record heat in June. It probably won’t melt in your stomach either.

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Entry filed under: Fond Memories, JL's Posts, Living History, Random, Travel.

I Can Hear You Now – Part III The Text Message Break Up

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. lemare  |  June 6, 2007 at 11:43 pm

    Baby JL kind of LOVED Mt. Vernon with the LeMare’s. (https://inrareform.wordpress.com/2007/04/12/mount-vernon-mystery-revealed/)

    But how is he supposed to go from a historical high like that to a place where you see dying mannequins and eat artificial fudge? And all this while surrounding yourself with Dead Head-clad mullets?
    https://inrareform.wordpress.com/2007/04/23/a-sitting-duck-mullet/

    Joe Miller was ready to call Child Services after the McDonalds Breakfast… let’s hope he feels charitable today.

    Reply
  • 2. jdon  |  June 7, 2007 at 12:00 pm

    You know, my biggest concern for your child isn’t the fudge, its the fact that you exposed him to hippies at such an early age. I question your ability as a parent. Not even Baldwin would stoop that low.

    Reply
  • 3. Lindsay  |  June 7, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    You can stay with me if you come to Chicago to try a Wrigley day of your own. Sounded fun, didn’t it!

    Reply

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