Oh Where oh Where Has my Gwyneth Gone?

June 14, 2007 at 10:53 am 2 comments

Since I’ve been residing in Wisconsin for the last little while I’ve had a lot of time to park myself in front of the t.v. and try to make amends for the programs that I missed when I was at college. With today’s latest technology (tivo) the entertainment world is my oyster. I’ve watched everything from the Real Housewives of Orange County and Real Word Las Vegas Reunion to Chris Matthew’s Hardball and the Republican Presidential debate. Yes it has been a very fulfilling summer indeed. But none of it meant anything until I stumbled upon Charles Dickens movie adaptation of Great Expectations, featuring Gwyneth Paltrow and Ethan Hawke.  Watching it was pure joy. Everything from the story line to its visual appeal was magical. After watching it I had an ache within my stomach that I couldn’t explain. I had a terrible night sleep and woke up distraught not knowing exactly what was bothering me. I tried to blame it on the salmon I had for dinner that night but I subconsciously knew I was telling myself a lie. I spent the rest of the day ill at ease and then suddenly out of no where it hit me. I realized that I miss Gwyneth!

When I was growing up my sisters loved Gwyneth Paltrow. She was the standard for style and beauty that everyone else tried to live up to. One of my sisters even claimed that she looked like Gwyneth and made sure that her prom dress was green just like the dresses that Gwyneth wore in Great Expectations.  So even though I grew up with a biased opinion of Gwyneth I still feel that I can arguably say that she was a classic Hollywood starlet. She wore Armani and Gucci to all her premiers, she made history in her lovely pink dress at the Oscar’s when she won for Shakespeare in Love, and she was fortunate enough to date Hollywood’s hottest hunk Brad Pitt for three years and even convinced him to get matching blond bobs. The girl had it going on. And now as we fast forward almost a decade it is sad to see what has become of our sweet Gwyneth. It seems like she decided to openly rebel against her title as Hollywood’s fashionista and plummet herself to grunge girl. The days of her pink Oscar dress went missing and instead she showed up to the Oscar’s looking like Heidi gone gothic. As far as dating the likes of Brad Pitt or Ben Affleck she went the total opposite direction when she up and decided to marry the most unattractive rocker out there: Chris Martin of Coldplay. While I enjoy his music I find it too painful to see him in a music video, with his crooked British teeth and gangly underfed body haunting the screen. I don’t know what spell he cast over Gwyneth or how he did it, but he is the only one I can blame for taking our starlet and convincing her to name her two children after a fruit and a biblical figure. It just isn’t fair.  People say Kevin Federline was a bad influence but what about Chris Martin? He took the classy Gwyneth we came to love and changed her into a rocker hippie who hates America. Instead of the media making t-shirts that read “Free Paris” I think it’s time everyone takes a hard look at the situation and start churning out the t-shirts that say “Free Gwyneth.” She’s been in a prison all these years and she just doesn’t know it yet. I wish that someone would enlighten her.

Sure there are those who say she’s happier now with life out of the spotlight. But to them I say, what about the rest of the world? Instead of getting to see a classy girl like Gwyneth on the cover of Us Weekly we’re forced to see drunk Lindsay Lohan holding a knife to Vanessa Minnillo or doing lines of coke at a club. As much as I wish we could bring Gwyneth back I’ve come to the harsh realization that she is too far gone. There is only a small window of time that you can save someone from there self and unfortunately that time has passed for our dear Gwyneth. But we’ll always have the good ol’ days and that will just have to suffice. We can only hope that in the future we will get someone as classy and beautiful as Gwyneth to grace Hollywood’s doors.  But for now my friends we’re stuck reading about the one night stands of Jennifer Aniston and Paris’ jail stints. Oh well. Hollywood starlets aren’t born everyday and for now we just have to wait.


Entry filed under: Celebrities, Commentary, Film, Fun Time Nicki, Pop Culture.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. lemare  |  June 14, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    How the mighty have fallen… Note: my Grandma Eleanor pioneered this look in 1997.

  • 2. JL  |  June 14, 2007 at 2:07 pm

    Gwyneth represented a different era in Hollywood, rather than the HO-llywood we’re witnessing today. Can you ever top Hush?

    And I still maintain that the prom dress is something the stylists from Great Expectations would have personally approved for Gwyneth.


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