Just Awesome

June 22, 2007 at 10:57 am 5 comments

Yesterday in east central Illinois, a couple of guys stole a van, fled from police triggering a high speed chase down the highway, careened off the road, and proceeded on foot to the nearest bank in a small Amish town, taking five hostages.  

My coworker’s response on the FBI negotiator showing up: “He should start by offering free checking, overdraft protection, and no ATM fees.” 

On the 6 o’clock news: an Amish woman with a camcorder out, recording the play-by-play. Seemingly normal, until you remember it’s against the Amish religion to own/operate electronic equipment and be photographed in any way.  

During the press release when there were still three hostages, a silly reporter asked the spokesperson, “When will this be over?” I hoped and hoped the answer would come, “At precisely 5:13 today” with a massive eye roll. 

So that reminds me of another reporter, well sports reporter, Lesley Visser, who has been known to ask her fair share of silly questions. When she asked Bobby Knight, the then coach of Indiana, how they won the game, he retorted, “We scored more points.” 

Which then got me thinking about other awesome things I’ve seen or heard over the last few years. 

Lunchtime in a busy city square. Man laying out on the grass with nothing on but a tight, turquoise speedo. A 15 foot radius of empty grass around him. 

Homeless woman with a grocery cart and a bag of cans going through a trashcan, wearing a big straw hat, Jackie-O sunglasses, a bright blue bathing suit, and silk pink granny underwear bunched and poking out of the legs of the bathing suit. 

Luxury van with curtains in the window. Purple and green streaks down the sides of the van. Cover on the spare tire on back silkscreened with a dog and the words: “We will never forget you, Trixie”. 

A woman calling into a radio stations requesting: “What’s Up, by Four Non Blondes.” The DJ: “Um, okay, so what else do you want to hear?” 

This one from LeMare several years ago: A wedding invitation with a little vellum card that read: If possible, please come at the assigned time:
A-I – 7:00-7:45
J-O – 7:45-8:30
P-Z – 8:30-9:15
 

A Relief Society lesson on the Word of Wisdom that started with listing the things we love that our physical bodies allow us to do or enjoy. Sleeping, taking a hot shower on a cold day, food, the exhaustion after heavy exercise, feeling a hug, etc. One woman made the comment that she loves being able to pick up her nephews, and the teacher wrote on the board: “Touch Nephews” – it wasn’t up for long. 

An email to the entire hospital for which I work from the Engineering Services guy: “Tomorrow evening, 3/29, we will start repainting the stair tower between Parkview and Rogers bldg. on second shift. … In advance I am sorry for any incontinence this will cause…” 

Another email sent to the entire hospital from our Compliance Office, Letha Kramer. A coworker’s response to just a few of us: “Thankth Letha.”

I’m sure there’ll be more…

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Entry filed under: Myrt's Blurts.

I Can Hear You Now – Part IV IRF Weekly Wrap-up

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Lowdogg  |  June 22, 2007 at 2:55 pm

    Nice post.

    I was thinking about the girl I overheard today when I was getting my haircut. According to the lady cutting my hair she had a baby in February:

    “My husband and I want to have another one within a year. That way we’ll be done while we’re young. Then we’ll have more freeodm because this is the hard part.”

    Even though my chillun’s are little, I know that the “hard part” of parenting may never end, unless like this young woman you are glad to let the government take over the parenting (that or the telly) once they hit 4 years old.

    Reply
  • 2. Massimo  |  June 22, 2007 at 2:59 pm

    An elementary school teacher of mine attempted to write “class skit” in cursive on the board and failed spectacularly–or shall we say, scatologically.

    A music student once wrote a concert review in which he complained that the “clarinet sounded like it had a hole in it.” I could only write in the margin, “Several, actually.”

    A large sign on a building in a remote Pacific nation read, “Office Despot.” I’m quite certain they meant “depot,” but I was otherwise grateful for the warning.

    I once got an unsolicited call from Asset Planning, but my caller ID displayed a most unfortunate abbreviation for the firm’s name.

    Reply
  • 3. lemare  |  June 23, 2007 at 9:59 am

    Since you brought up a “just awesome” wedding invitation I recieved a few years ago, let me bring up the latest…

    A friend sent out “A” list and “B” list invitations. I was a B. Mine was laser printed at his work on card stock and cut by the mail room paper cutter. I also got invited to a some casual establishment the night BEFORE the wedding.

    The A list invitation was to a night restaurant, AFTER the ceremony. And it was embossed and professionally cut.,

    I did NOT fly to said nuptials.

    Reply
  • 4. JL  |  June 24, 2007 at 10:01 am

    Myrt this brings to mind some of the many things we witnessed in 389 like the roommate who washed the kitchen floor with a Big Gulp of Sprite she found in the fridge and wondered why people were sticking to the floor.

    Speaking of just awesome wedding things, we went to a Christmas-time wedding reception where the couple had a money tree where you were supposed to put cash or checks on the branches with clothes pins. Nice.

    Reply
  • 5. Lindsay  |  June 25, 2007 at 9:46 pm

    LeMare, how about when in public, mom announced, “I want more grandchildren. Lindsay, get on the stick!”

    Reply

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