Miller Monday – A Blog for a Climate in Crisis!

July 9, 2007 at 9:34 am 8 comments

This past Saturday might have been the most important day in the history of our planet.  As many of you now know, our poor planet had been suffering from some really bad global warmings.   That is, before Al Gore and a few hundred pop stars flexed their musical muscles.  Ever since then, the problem of global warmings has been solved; and not a moment too soon, in this humble doomsday-ist’s perspective.  I personally don’t know what I would have done, had Madonna not personally challenged the crowd in the U.K. to, “Jump up and down if you want to stop Global Warmings.”  I do believe, however, that the crux of the event occurred in New York, when the Pussycat Dolls threw down the gauntlet for change to the roaring anthem of, “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me.”  Global warmings be gone!

You know, it seems like whenever a group of concerned musicians get together all of our problems do seem to disappear.  It’s nice to know there are moral exemplars out there that seem to know just what to do to solve all of our problems.  It just feels so good to know that there are people out there who understand all of the world’s major political and socioeconomic issues, and know how to solve them.  Take for example Live Aid.  Back in 1985, the once lead singer of the unimportant rock act, the Boomtown Rats, Bob Geldorf, organized an event to end famine in Ethiopia.  In hindsight, I’m sure it’s hard to believe that the now booming metropolis of Ethiopia ever needed savin’, but it sure did!  Thanks Bob Geldorf!  In fact, Live Aid was so successful in turning Ethiopia in to the Wall Street it is today that Mr. Geldorf decided to throw another event in 2005, cleverly titled Live 8.  Because no one in the world at that time knew anything about poverty, Mr. Geldorf wanted once again to assemble a bunch or Rock Stars to tell us all about it.  Now everyone knows about poverty – and we know it’s going to be history. 

And who could forget the most important concert for change of all time: Woodstock.  It was billed as three days of peace and music.  Conceptualize this concept with me, “Let’s get dirtiest, least moral, most drug addicted demographic we can find, and put them on a few acres of eroded farmland, with no food, fresh water, or toilets, and then we can find a whole bunch of fun.  Let’s not forget the names of the powerhouse acts that helped transform the planet into the  Peace Haven it is today: Country Joe McDonald, Bert Sommer, Incredible String Band, Tim Hardin, Quill, Keef Hartley Band, Ten Years After,  and Sha-Na-Na, just to name a few .

After the disaster that was Katrina, we all huddled around our TV sets while millionaire Rock Stars begged for our nickels and dimes.  After September 11th, Rock Stars sang to heal our emotional wounds.

I ask you, is there anything they can’t fix? Seriously I feel like I owe my very existence to Rock Stars!   For that reason I am proposing a few more concerts that I believe would be of great benefit to the human race:

1.       AIDS Aid – A concert for AIDS.  This concert could educate people that there is a disease called AIDS.  Attending the event would probably cure it.  In fact, I envision a bunch of Rock Stars wearing lab coats rocking out a cure for the cause up on the stage!  Rad!

2.       Lemare Aid – A concert for the unwed.  This concert would raise awareness that Lemare is still available for courtship.  We could broadcast from 7 or 8 locations, including Chicago, Los Angeles, New York, and Provo.  What would be the harm in a little duet between Mick Jagger and Lemare singing, I don’t know, “One” backed up by U2 themselves!

3.       Retardation Aid – A concert for retards.  Did you know that 1 in every 3 people is retarded?  Lets cure retardation, people!

4.       Divorce Aid – Nobody understands Divorce better than Rock Stars.  Let them cure it for the rest of us!  I think that maybe Brittany Spears better headline this one.

5.       Hoff Aid – A concert for the Hoff.  This concert is aimed at getting Night Rider back in the ABC Primetime slot.  Although I think we all would like some brand new episodes, we would settle for reruns.  Come on Elton John, are you down?

Sincerely,

Joe Miller

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Entry filed under: Celebrities, David Hasselhoff, Miller Monday.

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8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. lemare  |  July 9, 2007 at 11:46 am

    I’d elbow Mick off the stage. I don’t believe in sharing the spotlight (side effect of being single).

    Reply
  • 2. Lowdogg  |  July 9, 2007 at 3:21 pm

    Pretty awesome post.
    I love calling it “global warmings.” I posted about Live Earth today. I actually forgot it was happening until that evening.

    Here’s another idea:

    Pale Aid Even after a week at the beach, I am still clearly a person of pallor. Help Joe get a tan!

    Reply
  • 3. Lowdogg  |  July 9, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    Paris Aid: They already have a theme song:

    Reply
  • 4. TRussell  |  July 9, 2007 at 8:22 pm

    I’ve always wanted a venue to vent about diptheria.

    Reply
  • 5. lemare  |  July 10, 2007 at 5:27 pm

    how have we forgotten about other fruitless activist concerts? band aid saving hungry people in africa ? farm aid saving perfectly capable middle america farmers?

    Reply
  • 6. Lindsay  |  July 10, 2007 at 8:33 pm

    How about psych nurse aid? A day on my unit might be harder than being in Africa.

    Incidentally, LeMare requires just that right blend of humor and class in a man. Our family would have it no other way. We’re not sure there is anyone funny enough to keep up with her wit!

    Reply
  • 7. Jdon  |  July 11, 2007 at 12:07 am

    What better way to find a proper Gentlemen Suitor for LeMare then to broadcast it with the use of self-indulgent Rock Stars! It just makes sense.

    Reply
  • 8. Amy Miller  |  July 17, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    I personaly would love to see Al Gore make special appearences at all these concerts so I can hear him continue is long list of “I pledge(s)”. I’m “cereal”. Think how great it would be to hear his pledge on AIDS. “I pledge to never swim in the same pool as a person with AIDS”.

    Reply

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