Miller Monday – Good Sound Logic!

July 16, 2007 at 10:47 am 2 comments

There is some real sound logic in Washington these days.  It’s the kind of logic that can easily be applied at home, at work, or school, or at play. Unfortunately, it’s the kind of logic that could tragically lead you to sleeping on the couch.  Take it from me, I know from experience.

I am by no means a political animal.  I try to leave politics to those far smarter and more moral then me.  But, I could not help but hear about a movement within our Congress interested in imposing a timeline as to when we withdraw our troops in Iraq.  And then I thought.  And I thought.  And I thought.  And I thought some more.  And then I exclaimed, “What a brilliant idea! This is why we need really smart people in Washington!”

You see, I realized that our politicians had come across a really good idea.  Let’s just pretend we set a date to withdraw troops in Iraq, and let’s just pretend that date was, I don’t know, September 23rd.  Well, we would send a really important and distinctive message to all our enemies inside Iraq.  And that message would be something like this -Let all of you terrorists, suicide bombers, jihadists, and torturers know that we, The United States of America, will fight you on land, in air, or on sea, come what may, until September 23rd, 2007.   We will fight you relentlessly and without measure until you unconditionally agree to peacefully lay down your arms, or until September 23rd, 2007 whichever comes first.  We will be relentless in our pursuit of any party intent on the destruction of American lives for 73 more days, so beware.

“What a clear and strong message we would send to our enemies (you know, the ones that want us dead)”, I thought.  I’m sure the counter from our enemies would be very similar as well.  It would probably sound like this.  We the ununited front of Iraqi, Iranian, Syrian, Jordanian, and Arab states in general, do solemnly declare a bitter and unending war with the United States until your blood pours from every crag in the earth, or until September 23, 2007.  We will slit your throats, strap bombs onto our women and children, and will not sleep until we have slaughtered your women and your children in the name of our God, until September 23.  We shall defiantly stand up to you the United States of America, the Great Satan, and terrorize you mercilessly, until September 23rd, at which point we will return home and make Falafel.

Well, somewhere in that sound logic I must have become a little overzealous because when I walked through my front door on Friday I told my wife that I would gladly enter the kitchen after dinner and would devote my entire focus to the cleansing of the dishes for 3.4 minutes at which point I would not assist any further with the dishes.  She rolled her eyes a little bit at that point and said something like, “I don’t even want to know.”  She began folding clothes later that evening and I, in my zeal, declared that I would, “Fold every towel, shirt, and underwear without end, or at least until the current commercial break came to an end (which just happened to be about 6 seconds later).  What can I say, she was not amused.  Finally, sometime around 2 in the morning my son awoke crying.  My wife asked me to help and I told her that I would gladly help for 34.2 seconds at which point I would go back to bed and never help again.  Well, she totally lost her cool at that point and that I was I woke up this morning with a stiff neck.  I’m not sure where I went wrong, but one thing is for certain, my wife is less logical than the terrorists that hate us so much.  Thank you politicians for being such smart and logical creatures.


Joe Miller


Entry filed under: Miller Monday, Politics.

Of Course, continued. How Dare a Baby Suck Their Thumb!

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Lowdogg  |  July 16, 2007 at 11:07 am

    Excellent Post Joseph.

    So much for learning from Vietnam.

  • 2. Lindsay  |  July 16, 2007 at 7:51 pm

    Sure it makes sense–about as much sense as any asinine government policy. About as much sense as taxing the heck out of people for stupid socialist policies instead of letting the market system work its magic. About as much sense as taxing people after they’re dead. About as much sense as letting anyone cross the border and then giving them free medical care, food, and adjusting ourselves to their language. I’d better stop. My blood is boiling–maybe there’s a government program to help that.


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