The Second One this Month

September 10, 2007 at 8:16 pm 15 comments

This past Sunday was another Sabbath full of sin and iniquity, and no, THIS time, I was not to blame.   I boarded the Red Line at Grand en route to church clear up at Northwestern University.  At some point between Addison (Wrigley Field) and Granville (where sickos apparently live), I looked up and caught the eye of a creepy-looking man facing me.  He gave me a look–the look that creepy men give women…  I immediately averted my eyes and pretended that I was REALLY interested in my ipod.   

I could feel that his gaze was still upon me, and when I looked up, there he was, unzipped, out in the open, and having a good old time… all at my expense. 

I gasped and turned around, finding two nicely dressed girls trying to figure out why I am all of a sudden staring at them.  After 10 seconds of my incoherent babble, the brown-haired girl saw it and gasped and turned as well.  I got up and moved to a seat that I couldn’t see him.  The blonde girl said a similar experience happened to her at 2 am when she first moved here. The brunette said, “But you’d expect that kind of thing at 2am.  This is Sunday Morning.  GOD’S DAY!!!  People are in church right now!!!”  I told her that I was on my way, in fact.  “Say a few extra prayers today,” she advised.   

And then she turned to her friend and said, “You know, this is the SECOND &#%!$  that I haven’t wanted to see this month.”

Posted by LeMare

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Entry filed under: Chicago, Horrifying Moments, LeMare's Posts.

Miller Monday – REPENT YE! In Tribute

15 Comments Add your own

  • 1. lemare  |  September 10, 2007 at 10:56 pm

    I just got off the phone with my friend, a criminal defense attorney. I proclaimed that i want a constitutional ammendment that gives women the right to mace men who are fondling themselves in public.

    Reply
  • 2. JL  |  September 10, 2007 at 11:06 pm

    This reminds me of Phyllis of The Office getting flashed in the parking lot.

    Reply
  • 3. Lowdogg  |  September 11, 2007 at 6:06 am

    Are you telling me that you couldn’t mace someone who exposed themself? Especially when they started to engage the exposed *&$#? Doesn’t that cover some kind of assault?

    Reply
  • 4. pammyshep  |  September 11, 2007 at 12:20 pm

    Ewww! One summer in Provo (yes, even sickos live in Provo) we had problem with a guy who would streak across our lawn. The police didn’t do anything. Then one night, I was sitting in my front yard at the streaker walked by and serviced himself on the sidewalk. I didn’t have any mace but I did yell and tell him to take care of his needs at home instead of on my lawn. Never saw him again but I did purchase some pepper spray.

    Reply
  • 5. Mari  |  September 11, 2007 at 12:46 pm

    This is *possibly* worse than shigella in the Peruvian jungle.

    Reply
  • 6. lemare  |  September 11, 2007 at 12:51 pm

    It DID make me sick to my stomach, Mari.

    I thought that this kind of behavior was only exhibited by men who were former child stars, but I can’t say I remember seeing him on any 80’s sitcoms…

    Reply
  • 7. lemare  |  September 11, 2007 at 12:53 pm

    In an email from my friend:

    So, I just told your story to a woman in my office and she said that she’s encountered this sort of nonsense several times in the city. She’s completely no-nonsense and suggested if it happens again you take a picture on your phone and send it to the cops or post a blog on the following site:
    http://www.hollabackchicago.com/

    Reply
  • 8. TRussell  |  September 11, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    Wow – you got to meet Bill Clinton in person!!!

    Reply
  • 9. Stephanie  |  September 11, 2007 at 5:48 pm

    Ew- that’s just gross. Maybe you will be switching wards to a family one as to not travel so far soon. I’m glad you didn’t take a picture for the “A pictures worth a thousand words #3”

    Reply
  • 10. Jdon  |  September 11, 2007 at 6:08 pm

    Lemare, it wasnt my brother again was it?

    Reply
  • 11. Massimo  |  September 11, 2007 at 7:07 pm

    LeMare, perhaps it was former third-grade class president Mark Perper.

    Reply
  • 12. Just Enjoy the Brownie « In Rare Form  |  September 11, 2007 at 8:38 pm

    […] the weekend, I too had a disturbing encounter, though it certainly had nothing on LeMare’s encounter with lewdness on the Red Line. Mine involved a mom on a mission to prevent her daughter from one of life’s great […]

    Reply
  • 13. lemare  |  September 11, 2007 at 11:01 pm

    Is “Perper” a REAL last name???

    Reply
  • 14. Massimo  |  September 11, 2007 at 11:06 pm

    Yes. And surely, LeMare, you noticed the “Golden Girls” reference.

    Reply
  • 15. lemare  |  September 11, 2007 at 11:13 pm

    I TOTALLY MISSED the Golden Girls reference. My head is hung in shame.

    Reply

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