Just Enjoy the Brownie

September 11, 2007 at 8:38 pm 16 comments

Over the weekend, I too had a disturbing encounter, though it certainly had nothing on LeMare’s encounter with lewdness on the Red Line. Mine involved a mom on a mission to prevent her daughter from one of life’s great pleasures–Ghiradelli triple chocolate brownies–and offend the creator of the dessert bar for an event for sixty girls in the fourth to sixth grade age range.

Pizza pockets had underwhelmed the girls at the activity earlier in the year, so for this final activity we went all out with a sundae bar featuring a gigantic platter of 96 gooey, fudgey brownie delights, vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, colored sprinkles, chocolate syrup and maraschino cherries for good measure. Sugar Mom as we shall call her, was gracious enough to assist in serving as the girls made their way through the bar, but reprimanded me for providing such an “unthinkable” amount of sugar to girls so close to their bed time. (Do nine year-olds really go to bed at 8:30pm on a Friday night?)

She instructed her daughter that she wouldn’t be allowed to have a brownie as it wasn’t healthy and would keep her up. Stupefied by her comments, much as I was from watching the demise of Britney’s career, she continued her sermon and alleged that we have a gluttony problem in our church. She then proceeded to deny 80-lb. girls the right to seconds. No doubt contributing to the future psychiatry bills of these future women. Despite the sugar running through my veins from the half dozen unservable odd-shaped brownies I ate that afternoon, and knowing that I could vent here amongst friends, I was able to keep my cool. I didn’t dare tell her that my mother had suggested providing an equal sized platter of chocolate chip cookies for variety.

Posted by JL


Entry filed under: Commentary, Fine Food, JL's Posts, Manners and Grammar.

In Tribute National Day of Conception

16 Comments Add your own

  • 1. jdon  |  September 11, 2007 at 9:18 pm

    Question: I know its wrong to hate, but is it wrong to strongly dislike people like this? If so, I am totally going to Hell!

  • 2. lemare  |  September 11, 2007 at 10:59 pm

    What kind of sick degenerate denies a child the pleasure of a brownie sundae?

  • 3. cburt  |  September 11, 2007 at 11:38 pm

    Wow–I didn’t realize you knew my sister-in-law! She recently threw my skinny 1-year-old son’s Zinger in the trash, exclaiming, “You don’t feed that garbage to a child!” Who do these people think they are?! I was too dumbfounded to react.

    No, it’s not wrong to hate in circumstances involving the denial of chocolate to innocent children.

  • 4. Joey  |  September 12, 2007 at 12:43 pm

    If not to a child, to whom exactly does one feed a Zinger?

  • 5. Jdon  |  September 12, 2007 at 12:52 pm

    In all honesty, it makes me kind of wish that I was in this lady’s shoes. I mean, the biggest thing she has to worry about is whether or not her daughter should be allowed to eat a brownie sunday and whatnot. Meanwhile, half way around the world, some women is being beaten within an inch of her life by an irate jealous husband for no reason. Makes that brownie decision seem all the more important, huh?

  • 6. JL  |  September 12, 2007 at 12:56 pm

    I’m assuming this woman makes the same stink at birthday parties, family reunions, basically anywhere her daughter’s nutrition is out of her hands. Makes me wonder about when the daughter finally gets a taste of freedom. She’ll probably freak out and binge on Zingers and brownies until she faints.

  • 7. Meldred  |  September 12, 2007 at 1:45 pm

    is there any indication that Sugar Mom might have a weight problem? either bone-thin obsessive-compulsive or a little chubby? maybe she was jealous that she couldn’t have some. the brownie sundae spread all sounds delightful to me; I wish I could have been there!

  • 8. lemare  |  September 12, 2007 at 1:53 pm

    The only time in my life I remember eating zingers was in pre-school. CBurt, were we in the same pre-school at Miss Terri’s? She served FROZEN zingers, which really made the treat all the more special.

    But then again I had a HAPPY childhood… full of zingers and brownie sundaes…

  • 9. Joey  |  September 12, 2007 at 4:40 pm

    I’m going to go to the BP Connect and buy myself a Zinger after work (sugary snacks are twice as delightful when purchased from Big Oil) . Do they still come four to a pack? That would be delightful. I could share one with a random child in the elevator.

  • 10. Massimo  |  September 12, 2007 at 4:44 pm

    The Zinger is the official mass-produced snack pastry of the Revolution.

  • 11. Massimo  |  September 12, 2007 at 4:55 pm

    It’s also believed that martyrs for the Revolution receive 72 Zingers in the next life, although some believe that “Zingers” is a mistranslation for “Cal State Northridge Cheerleaders.” I’ll take the Zingers.

  • 12. lemare  |  September 12, 2007 at 5:19 pm

    My stock in BP thanks you for your patronage, Joey. I will have to use that stock to post your bail when you’re arrested for offereing small children zingers…. Stranger Danger and all…

    I, too, will take the Ziingers over anything Cal State-related. And I don’t mind if I get one of the red ones with coconut on them. Or the chocolate. Both are fine by me.

  • 13. cburt  |  September 12, 2007 at 5:23 pm

    Amen to that! I’m suddenly feeling the craving for a frozen Zinger!
    Maybe IRF readers should declare today “Share a Zinger (or brownie) with a Child Day.”

    I do think it’s true that people like these two women have their own underlying weight/ eating issues that they feel the need to impose on those under their influence. Heaven knows my SIL does. Unfortunately they don’t realize how totally counter-productive they’re being.

  • 14. Massimo  |  September 12, 2007 at 5:31 pm

    I would prefer, “Share a Zinger with a Thirtysomething Bachelor Day,” but I like the way you think, cburt.

  • 15. Joey  |  September 12, 2007 at 5:57 pm

    I haven’t been able normally to breathe since Massimo’s “martyrs” post.

  • 16. pammyshep  |  September 13, 2007 at 8:26 pm

    Did you add an illegal herb to make these ‘special’ brownies? That might’ve increased her self-righteous attitude or made her just not give a crap. When my sister’s husband is out of town, she feeds her kids ice cream (or sometimes candy bars) for dinner and aside from a few spastic moments, they’re normal, well-adjusted kids.


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