Skeletons in my bed

September 13, 2007 at 12:11 pm 26 comments

Last time I ventured back to my parents house and spent the night in my childhood bedroom, I found that my mom had added a decorative detail to my bed…

waiting-for-mr-right.jpg 

That’s right.  A needlepoint pillow depicting a female skeleton on a park bench with the caption, “Waiting For Mr. Right.”

She thinks it’s hilarious.  I’m still trying to figure out why.

Posted by LeMare

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Entry filed under: LeMare's Posts, Random, The Single Life.

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26 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Joey  |  September 13, 2007 at 12:44 pm

    LeMare, I am outraged by this, both at the message and the medium. Needlepoint? If your mother wants to pressure you into marrying Mr. Wrong instead of waiting for Mr. Right, why can’t she just do what normal mothers do and commission a lawn sculpture in marble of you, alone?

    Really, LeMare, my mother kept my high school senior picture on a wall in her house, whilst all my brothers and sisters got to have their engagement pics and family pics on the wall next to mine until I was 30. The implication was I had done nothing valuable since I was 17, and that the stock price per share of all my siblings had surpassed mine long ago. When the Small Princess comes, we will finally be able to have a post-engagement pic on my mom’s wall.

    Not bitter or nuthin. Just sayin’ is all.

    Reply
  • 2. Massimo  |  September 13, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    LeMare, I’m appalled that your mother apparently thinks you wear dresses from the Lucy van Pelt Collection and carry hideous, clashing fringed handbags.

    For what it’s worth, I also think you have better bone structure than the lady on the pillow.

    Reply
  • 3. lemare  |  September 13, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    Thank you, Massimo, I like to think that I have much more prominent clavicles.

    And Joey, for the record there isn’t a single picture of just me in the family’s house… They have had me sit for solo photographs for the past two years, but have yet to actually put one in a frame…

    Reply
  • 4. Joey  |  September 13, 2007 at 1:39 pm

    I think my stuffed effigy of Mr. Dryer Sheets would be a more appropriate decoration for your bed.

    Reply
  • 5. critts  |  September 13, 2007 at 3:02 pm

    Wow – I’m not even certain that I have a comment besides wow. At least it’s not a needlepoint of “Even a barn looks better painted”.

    Reply
  • 6. goinglikesixty  |  September 13, 2007 at 3:17 pm

    Oh, you have the Mother that DID raise a stupid kid. (or at least one with no sense of humor.)

    Reply
  • 7. Lowdogg  |  September 13, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    She’s something else.

    Reply
  • 8. Lowdogg  |  September 13, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    The skeleton I mean.

    Yowza!

    Reply
  • 9. lemare  |  September 13, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    Going Like Sixty, I could see humor in stuffed effigies of Mr. Dryer Sheets on my bed (thank you, Joey), but I never see any humor in needlepoint.

    Reply
  • 10. Joey  |  September 13, 2007 at 4:27 pm

    The missus keeps asking when I’m going to get rid of a certain pair of Pumas I own, but I am secretly plotting to recreate the effigy in Massimo’s bathtub someday, and the Pumas are essential.

    Reply
  • 11. lemare  |  September 13, 2007 at 4:36 pm

    I will help you with the effigy. As long as we can go to the Tinley Famous Dave’s after.

    Reply
  • 12. myrtleme  |  September 13, 2007 at 4:40 pm

    I think you should replace that pillow with one that is silkscreened with a photo of your local Chip ‘n Dales and Cher’s infamous quote “Forget Mr. Right. I’m looking for Mr. Right Now.”

    Reply
  • 13. pammyshep  |  September 13, 2007 at 7:16 pm

    Maybe on your next visit home, your mom will suggest a trip to the local cemetary where you can choose amongst the eligible WWI and WWII vets who died before getting married… they’ need to opportunity to marry, too.

    Reply
  • 14. lemare  |  September 13, 2007 at 7:30 pm

    Pammy, don’t think I’ve forgotten of the tale of your 31st birthday when your uncle said that it is now clear that you aren’t getting married in this life…

    Reply
  • 15. JL  |  September 13, 2007 at 8:05 pm

    Lynette needs her own sitcom! I would watch faithfully.

    Reply
  • 16. pammyshep  |  September 13, 2007 at 8:19 pm

    Actually, I was only 30 at the time… a full 5 months before needing to take the Walk of Shame out of a singles ward.

    If she got her own sitcom, I’d be perfect for the scene-stealing plucky sidekick. I should share some embarrassing and bad behavior stories on my site… I flashed a few GAs on accident once. Maybe THAT’s why I’m still single. But at least my mom doesn’t sew needle point pillows to remind me. Ghastly!!!

    Reply
  • 17. lemare  |  September 13, 2007 at 8:33 pm

    In Lynette’s defense, she did not sew OR buy the pillow… it was a gift, which I I actually think that it’s kind of worse… Her friend called it a “good luck” pillow for me. She gave it to my mom the day her spinster daughter FINALLY got engaged.

    Reply
  • 18. lemare  |  September 13, 2007 at 8:34 pm

    And… how do you accidentally flash general authorities?

    Reply
  • 19. Joey  |  September 13, 2007 at 9:22 pm

    When I drag my mouse over the pic of the pillow, the SnapShot comes up and offers related topics: “speedo, Mitt Romney.”

    Are there beefcake pillows I don’t know about, LeMare?

    Reply
  • 20. lemare  |  September 13, 2007 at 9:50 pm

    Joey, the only Presidential Beef-cake photos I have is of Ronald Reagan, in the same coffee table book that I gave you.

    Reply
  • 21. Massimo  |  September 13, 2007 at 9:59 pm

    I get “Geico,” “scrapbooking,” and “speedo.” At least two of those things are genuinely repellent. What gives?

    Reply
  • 22. lemare  |  September 13, 2007 at 10:23 pm

    Well, I got Arrested Development and Park Bench. Not sure how the system picks up key words…

    Perhaps JL, the blogging guru, knows the answer?

    Reply
  • 23. pammyshep  |  September 13, 2007 at 10:26 pm

    It wasn’t on purpose, believe me. I’ll have to blog about it sometime to share my shame.

    Reply
  • 24. merathon  |  September 13, 2007 at 11:47 pm

    i cannot stop laughing. that is the funniest thing i have seen in a long time! and i’m glad someone cleared up what was sitting on the bench next to the skeleton. apparently it is a bag, but i thought it was a turkey, and i must admit, i was a little confused. . .

    Reply
  • 25. dreampotential  |  September 24, 2009 at 3:28 am

    Do you happen to know where you can buy one? I passed one up in a shop years ago and have never seen one in person since.

    Reply
  • 26. dreampotential  |  September 24, 2009 at 3:29 am

    My mother spent her life trying to convince me I was too picky too. Ignore her. Misery loves company 🙂

    Reply

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