Who’s on The Cubs Side? Who?

September 24, 2007 at 9:49 am 33 comments

Yesterday my Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Los Angeles in Orange County assured their spot in the 2007 MLB post season. After a few cheers and a lengthy celebratory dance I sat down to ponder this wondrous event. But it just felt empty. It does, year after year. The Angeles have a healthy appearance record in the Major League playoffs the past few years and were fortunate enough to win the World Series in 2002. The empty feeling I got yesterday comes from the fact that I feel almost spoiled. I know that sounds ridiculous coming from someone who was raised in Orange County, but it’s true. You see, it stems from the fact that the Chicago Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908.

You will recall obnoxious Red Sox fans a few years ago complaining about not having won a world series since 1918. Boo hoo, they had to wait 86 years to win another one. Personally I chalk that 86 year waiting period up to Karma. Yes, Karma. Does the word Chappaquiddick mean anything to you? I’m talking to you Ted Kennedy and all you Bean Towners! Anyways, what is 86 years seems like a fortnight compared to the 99 years it has been since the Cubs have brought home any glory to Wrigley field. Despite having a few problems with a few minor Mafioso’s in the past (I think there was one named Alphonse Capone or something) Chicago has fairly good Karma. So why the 99 year dry spell?

In 1945 the Cubs had a pretty decent chance of capturing a World Series title but failed to do so largely due to the voodoo of a Greek Immigrant. Billy Siannis brought his goat into Wrigley to watch the 1945 World Series. Although the charming couple was initially allowed to enter the park the smell started to bother everyone and both Billy and his goat were asked to leave. Under his breath Mr. Siannis placed some sort of vex on the team which supposedly is used to explain the Cubs’ terrible Karma.

In 2003 the Cubs had another chance of taking it all the way but a few games shy or making it, with their best two pitchers yet to pitch, an over anxious fan interfered with a ball in play and broke the fans hearts yet once again. Last I heard this fan, Steve Bartman, was hitchhiking along Chappaquiddick with a bottle of scotch.

You may be asking yourself, why does this matter? Why should I care? You may not even like baseball. I’m here to tell you that this is about more than just baseball. This is about something much larger than baseball. This is about goodness and decency. In effect, if you do not route for the Cubs to win the World Series you are a bad person. Routing against the Cubs is like routing for Goliath. It is like routing for Apollo Creed. It is like supporting Al Qaeda. It is evil.

I am convinced that if you do not at least hope that the Cubs make it to the playoffs that your soul is lost and will never be fully redeemed. If they make it to the playoffs, if you do not pledge your soul to Lou Pinella you are doomed.

Like me, you may have a hometown team heading to the playoffs this year. All I can say is that you better hope that hometown team does not have to play the Cubs or else you might find yourself in a serious moral conundrum. You wouldn’t support terrorism, would you? Then why would you not support the Cubs?  I would like to nominate the Chicago Cubs as the official MLB baseball team of IRF for the 2007 post season.  Hopefully this does not curse the teams ability to make it to the playoffs and inspire the IRF curse.  If so, we are all doomed.

Sincerely,

Joe Miller

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Entry filed under: Chicago, Miller Monday, Sports.

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33 Comments Add your own

  • 1. lemare  |  September 24, 2007 at 10:48 am

    Thank you for posting this, Joe Miller. I needed that.

    Reply
  • 2. Sportsattitude  |  September 24, 2007 at 10:52 am

    As long as the Phillies make it to the post-season, I’ll be more than happy to root for the Cubs then as well…as long as they’re not playing each other of course…

    Reply
  • 3. Jdon  |  September 24, 2007 at 11:24 am

    You dont have to be born on the North side to know wrong from right Lemare.
    Sportsattitude, I know what you are getting at and I tell you its a slippery slope.

    Reply
  • 4. Lowdogg  |  September 24, 2007 at 3:57 pm

    Some thoughts:
    1. Supporting the Cubs is indeed a worthy cause. My mother has long been a Cubs fan, choosing to like them as a young Cuban emigre. I have no quarrel here, especially because I am mostly indifferent to baseball.
    2. Making the Cubs the official baseball team of IRF is also a nice idea, seeing as you have a real Chicagoan(sp?) making things happen.
    3. If the Cubs DO win then IRF will have some legitimate heft as a supporter of winners.

    Now the words of caution:

    If the Cubs do not win, or crash and burn, where does this leave IRF? As the bringer of doom, or an unlucky witness? Do they carry this karmic weight to the campaign of one Willard Mitt Romney? Could Mitt be finished by October, all because IRF has acquired the taint of the Siannis Goat curse?

    Something to ponder?

    Reply
  • 5. TRussell  |  September 24, 2007 at 4:25 pm

    In the words of Manny Ramirez when he was asked what he thought about the curse of the Bambino, he said “I don’t care about no curse. I’ll freakin’ wake him from the grave and hit him in the head with the ball.”

    If I were a taxi driver in Chicago, I might threaten to roast that goat on a spit and be done with it once and for all.

    Reply
  • 6. Jdon  |  September 24, 2007 at 4:27 pm

    I’m well aware of a potential IRF curse, but you cannot fear the consequences of doing something so plainly right. My conscious will not permit it. I accept full responsibility if the Cubs don’t make it to the post-season or if Steve Bartman rears his ugly face inside Wrigley.

    Reply
  • 7. yur brudder  |  September 24, 2007 at 4:32 pm

    Let’s not be hasty. Chicago has also given has Sentors Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama, not to mention the machine politics of the Daleys. Chicago may garner your sympathy for the Cubs, but it also brought us the Bulls and Bears. Who do you think put Dennis Rodman and “Iron” Mike Ditka on the map? Guess where Kayne West and R. Kelly hail from. Here’s a hint: it’s not the “First” City. You may have mentioned Al Capone, but you conveniently failed to mention the common birthplace of John Dillinger, Ted Kaczynski, John Wayne Gacy, Robert Hannsen, Jose Padilla, and Mr. T. Need I say more.

    Reply
  • 8. lemare  |  September 24, 2007 at 4:54 pm

    Joe Miller’s Brother: Let he who does NOT live in a moral vacuum cast the first stone. Your state gave us Chairman Pelosi, just for starters.

    Yes, Chicago, like California, of the “blue” persuasion. But the Cubbies transcend politics. Much like the Angels winning in the Naked Gun, the Cubbies bring together friend and foe… democrat and republican, the Arab and the Jew, the mail-man and the pit bull.

    Reply
  • 9. yur brudder  |  September 24, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    Lemare: Don’t mix me in the bath filth of NorCal. You’ll noticed I specifically cited persons from the CITY of Chicago, not the STATE of Illinois. If you want to engage in a comparable debate, you might have an easy time coming up with slime from the STATE of California, but you’ll have a much harder time coming up with the similar persons of ill repute from Orange County.

    Knock yourself out. If you have a few extra hours on your hand, you should try googling “Famous lowlife from the O.C.”

    Reply
  • 10. lemare  |  September 24, 2007 at 5:54 pm

    I don’t know why I’m letting you pull me into your Miller antics:

    serial killer: http://www.unsolved.com/0225-Serialkiller.html

    You also gave us terrible programming:
    Laguna Beach
    The OC
    The Real Housewives of Orange County

    Only redeemed by Arrested Development taking place on Balboa Island (and Wee Britain)

    Reply
  • 11. Jdon  |  September 24, 2007 at 7:06 pm

    You know, this article was really meant to bring us all together not to tear us apart. Can we put partisan politics aside and agree that routing for the Cubbies is simply the right thing to do? By the way Lemare, the ironic thing is that if you now do a Google search for “Famous lowlife from the O.C.” you will likely only get one hit – IRF. I dont know if that speaks ill of our blog or highly of Orange County.

    Reply
  • 12. Sportsattitude  |  September 24, 2007 at 7:37 pm

    I’ve been so entertained by this thread, I have decided to actively root for the Cubbies effective immediately (as well as the Phightin’ Phils) and will attempt to influence others in the City of Brotherly Love to do so as well. It IS the right thing to do to root for the Cubs, regardless of home town or other possible “ties.”

    Reply
  • 13. yur brudder  |  September 24, 2007 at 7:37 pm

    Lemare, you posted a link about a OC serial killer. But if you read the report closely, he came from the SACRAMENTO area, which is in NORTHERN CALIFORNIA, not Orange County. Again, all of my above referenced Chicagoans actually originated from Chicago.

    As far as some programming, you were able to cite three pathetic shows that take place in the O.C. Compare that to the following Chicago list:

    FILMS
    Cheaper By The Dozen
    Barbershop
    Barbershop 2: Back in Business
    Adventures in Babysitting
    Mean Girls
    Uncle Buck
    Death of a President

    TV SHOWS
    According to Jim
    Married… with Children
    Coupling
    Family Matters
    The Jenny Jones Show
    Life Goes On
    Perfect Strangers
    Oprah Winfrey
    Barbershop: The Series

    If the Cubs become the official team of IRF, I will lead a massive IRF boycott, Jesse Jackson-style (incidentally the Reverend Jackson attened the Univ of Illinois).

    Reply
  • 14. Massimo  |  September 24, 2007 at 10:14 pm

    The Bob Newhart Show
    Brian’s Song
    Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
    The Fugitive
    His Girl Friday
    The Sting
    The Untouchables

    Reply
  • 15. lemare  |  September 24, 2007 at 10:40 pm

    Joe Miller’s Brother: I repeat what your brother said that this post was to UNIFY… to bring us together… Look at Sportsattitude, if HE can be supportive, so can you. I happen to know that Millers are Pro-Cub. Why must you rebel?

    Reply
  • 16. Kerry  |  September 25, 2007 at 8:39 am

    I just have to say that I love the “anti-cub fan = Al Qaeda lover” analogy. I quite agree — it is downright unamerican to not have a soft spot in your heart for our dear old Cubs (and for their loyal fans!)

    Reply
  • 17. Lowdogg  |  September 25, 2007 at 11:38 am

    Jesse Jackson went to college?

    Reply
  • 18. Jdon  |  September 25, 2007 at 12:12 pm

    Lowdogg, I think he means that the good Reverend protested the college at one time or another.

    Reply
  • 19. Sportsattitude  |  September 25, 2007 at 1:36 pm

    I am sure Rev. Jackson is a Cubs fan. I know its a slippery slope to navigate but I have posted on my site my commitment to cheer the Cubs on from Philly (while “encouraging” the home team, of course). I will do my best to create energy on the East Coast that will travel south to Florida and assist Chicago in its series with the Fish. I know what it is like to have to win in their pond, and some really strange crap can go down there. IF the Phils come up short, at least we in Philly who commit to this unholy alliance will surely have Crazy Lou and his Cubbies to cheer on.

    Reply
  • 20. Jdon  |  September 25, 2007 at 1:53 pm

    Sportsattitude has become a zealot for our cause. If only Lemare and Yur brudder could learn to break bread together, than our cause would be truly unstoppable.

    Reply
  • 21. lemare  |  September 25, 2007 at 2:07 pm

    Sportsattitude, I would be 90% sure that The Good Reverend is more of a White Sox fan, but yes, your blind faith has moved me. What is your site so that I can read your post about the unholy alliance?

    Reply
  • 22. the Reverend (formerly "yur brudder")  |  September 25, 2007 at 2:58 pm

    Has the world gone insane?

    I now have a new mission in life.
    I urge all to boycott IRF.

    “Only duds route for da Cubs.”
    “Only duds route for da Cubs.”
    “Amen and Amen.”

    Reply
  • 23. Jdon  |  September 25, 2007 at 3:48 pm

    I feel stabbed in the back by my own brother. Before you judge him, World, please know that he is currently studying on a UC campus and obviously the fringe minority moralists have gotten to him. Have mercy!

    Reply
  • 24. Sportsattitude  |  September 25, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    lemare (and other true believers in this just cause)…the site is sportsattitude.wordpress.com. We in Philadelphia salute your spirit and passion for the Cubbies. Reminds us of us.

    Reply
  • 25. Lindsay  |  September 25, 2007 at 5:53 pm

    From sea to shining sea! Bringing together sports fans and bloggers from California to Chicago to Philadelphia! And at the same time tearing brother against brother. What could be more American than that? Go Cubs!

    Joe Miller, we hear from yur pa and yur brudder, what about yur ma? Will she be rooting for the North Side?

    Reply
  • 26. Jdon  |  September 25, 2007 at 6:15 pm

    She better be pulling for the north side or she is dead to me! That’s how serious I take this. Neither Father or Mother should stand in the way of what is so right a cause!

    Reply
  • 27. Lindsay  |  September 25, 2007 at 6:28 pm

    Why am I picturing you like a warrior out of 300? Fierce look of determination, fist over heart. Or maybe a stripling warrior. “What say ye, IRF? Will you root for the Cubs?”

    Reply
  • 28. Lowdogg  |  September 25, 2007 at 9:01 pm

    Is this your older brother? I never really talked to him, but I remember you pointed him out during the Tiffany concert. He was pretty excited that day.

    Reply
  • 29. Sportsattitude  |  September 26, 2007 at 10:19 am

    OK…so the whole Philly-Chicago baseball alliance has gotten off to a tough start…but keep the faith…another post at sportsattitude.wordpress.com for all of you Cub fans to at least relish in the fact those of us in Philadelphia have your back. As stated in that post…miracles DO happen, especially in Chicago… Rex is headed for the bench! Congrats to all of you in the Windy City. Prayer does work!

    Reply
  • 30. the Reverend  |  September 26, 2007 at 12:46 pm

    JUST A REMINDER THE IRF BOYCOTT IS IN EFFECT. HERE’S SOME ALTERNATIVE WEB READING.

    http://www.thecubsuck.com/home.html
    http://www.cubssuckclub.com/
    http://www.cubs-suck.com/

    Reply
  • 31. lemare  |  September 26, 2007 at 2:25 pm

    And you call yourself a man of the cloth!

    Reply
  • 32. Yur Pa  |  October 4, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    I finally got around to reading this blog. My comment is so late that I suppose no one will see it. Nonetheless, I have just one thing to say–Lou Pinella. How can my own son root for a team led by that man? It’s a sorry day.

    Reply
  • 33. Sportsattitude  |  October 4, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    Based on the timing of Yur Pa’s comments, I would suspect some of the sorriness being experienced in Chicago this day is directly related to Sweet Lou pulling Carlos Zambrano early last night?

    Reply

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