Miller Monday – A Post for the Unprotected

December 10, 2007 at 11:25 am 21 comments

A few months ago I accepted a new job.  Unfortunately, I like many Americans soon found out that my job was terrible.  I realized that I had made a big mistake, but what was I to do?  It’s not like I could just walk away at that point, right.  That was when I realized that I could.  And I did.  A few weeks ago I found a new job and now I am perfectly content.  Great story, right?   Unfortunately for many Americans the ability to leave their job and find a new one is a truly sad impossibility. 

Too many poor American employees have been abused at the hands of their employers and have had nowhere to run for protection.  Fortunately, we have developed a system to at least try and combat this sick form of abuse: Unions.  Thank the heavens for Unions.  They make everyone’s life so much better.  Just the other day I saw a gentlemen driving a beat up pickup truck with one of the windows smashed out.  One his bumper was a sticker that read, “Live Better – Work Union.”  Amen to that brother, amen to that.  There is no doubt in my mind that Mr. Pickup driver is living better than ever thanks to that Union.

 However there are many professionals where the Unions can’t seem to do enough.   Take for example our professional athletes.  How long will these underpaid, overworked specimens of mankind be forced to play football, baseball, basketball, and hockey?  They need a Union to protect their rights.  Did you know that the average NBA salary this year is $5.2 million?  Jimmy Hoffa where are you now!  You expect these people to send their illegitimate kids to private schools on that kind of income?  How many Ferraris do you think they need to buy in a year?  Five, Six, Seven?  What kind of sick joke is this?  What kind of world do we live in when Shaquille O’Neil can’t walk down to his local Ferrari dealer and put down cash to walk away with 10 Ferraris in one weekend?  All I know is that it’s the kind of world I don’t want my children living in!  It’s no wonder our professional athletes have turned to other sources of income just to keep themselves afloat, gambling, drug dealing, and dog-fighting just to name a few. 

Then there are the poor souls in the screenwriter’s guild.  Wow, I feel so sorry for them. They are striking right now to protect their rights, and bless them for it.  We all know how they have been forced into servitude with no other place to go.  Typing away, both night and day, in the dungeons of some movie studio with fetters and shackles on their hands and feet, these poor screenwriters have decided, to quote the words of Twisted Sister, that they’re not gonna take it!  But unlike me in my old job, they can’t just say, “I’m not being paid enough”, or “I hate being treated this way”, their only resort is to strike and make all of our favorite TV shows go into syndication early. 

That’s the way to earn my sympathy screenwriters, make me watch crappy TV.  These people have really hard jobs.  After all, who else is going to scour British television to copy whatever is popular there and bring it to American television?  Who else is going to rip off television commercials (Geico-Caveman) and put in on the small screen?  Who else is going to write sequels and sequels to already terrible sequels and put them on the silver screen?  I personally cannot wait for Rambo part IV this summer.  Let’s face it, being a screenwriter requires lots of creativity. 

So when your favorite TV show doesn’t pop up this season lets all remember to keep our cool when we are subjected to watch Gilligan’s Island instead. Because, Come on America, these people need us!  And if anyone wants to start a Union for disgruntled bloggers please let me know.  My rights must be protected.


Joe Miller


Entry filed under: Miller Monday.

The Pregnant Mind Don’t Call It Frisco

21 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Sportsattitude  |  December 10, 2007 at 12:12 pm

    The New York Times published its 7th Annual Year in Ideas segment within its Sunday Magazine this past weekend and I highly recommend all IRF readers take a look at it. It lists all sorts of “outside the box” things we humans are currently working on “solving” or “inventing.” One of the topics was whether or not quitting can be good for you. An academic who co-wrote a scientific paper on the subject was quoted as saying, “there’s this traditional idea in Western culture and science literature that being persistent is good, that if you work hard, you can achieve anything. Our take is that persistence is good, but there are times where the most adaptive thing is to say, “This goal is not going to work out.” They even took it a step further to note the physical unhealthiness of staying in a situation with no apparent positive outcome. I also had a recent experience of stepping into and right back out of an employment opportunity, knowing full well it would be an unhealthy situation to continue. Fortunately, I have the resources to do so. In fact, I am now thinking of racing to L.A. to scab my way into a tv writing career before these idiot union-ites leave the broadcast networks no choice but to air reality tv 24/7. Hey, we busted the air traffic controller union up and this whole deal with the writers is way more serious than that.

  • 2. lemare  |  December 10, 2007 at 1:06 pm

    Festivus, Yes! Bagels, No!

  • 3. lemare  |  December 10, 2007 at 4:16 pm

    Seinfeld references aside, there was an article in this morning’s Wall Street Journal that was written by Arthur Laffer and Stephen Moore. (One time, I’m pretty sure that a guy dated me because he was impressed that I understood the Laffer Curve). Anyhow, it was talking about how certain states economies are suffering at the hands of things like high state income taxes and unions right-to-work laws. Those states are having more people leave than move in (this further increasing the housing problem). The states listed by name are near and dear to many of our hearts… California (LeMare & Joe Miller), Illinois (LeMare, Lindsay), Pennsylvania (Sportsattitude), Maryland, New York, just to name a few… States without income taxes (FL, TX, NV) are seeing growth, as are places like Alabama, Georgia, and Mississippi are poaching businesses from the Northeast. Their state governments are smaller, so taxes are lower, and few labor restrictions. I always live in the wrong states.

  • 4. lowdogg  |  December 10, 2007 at 4:44 pm


    It ain’t called poaching when the game comes to you.

  • 5. JL  |  December 10, 2007 at 6:38 pm

    Joe Miller, have you considered stepping up to the plate to replace any of these insipid striking writers? I hear Leno’s looking for a few good men.

  • 6. micky2  |  December 10, 2007 at 10:56 pm

    “What kind of sick joke is this? ‘

    Its called a free market, no joke.
    The better you are, the more money you get. Period.
    Not all players get paid the same, because they’re not all the same !
    Some suck more than others !
    Fire the writers ! The markey will balance it i=out on its own. Theres other people that need jobs. Reagan did it with the Air controllers, the ranks got filled pretty quick.
    With your attitude you’ll get to know all the Gilligan Isle scripts by heart

  • 7. micky2  |  December 10, 2007 at 10:59 pm

    Sorry, thought you were someone else

  • 8. ian in hamburg  |  December 11, 2007 at 2:51 am

    I support the screenwriters in their fight to get a part of the profits going to their employers via media that didn’t even exist a few years ago. They just want their cut. I’m sure anyone in sales can understand that.

    As for pro sports players, same thing. Do you know the story of Gordie Howe? Best player in the NHL for years, but in the last decade, one of the most poorly paid. They upped his salary by a grand a year, and he thought he was doing well, but he had team-mates making 20 times what he was by the time he retired. A union simply puts everything above board and gives the players a benchmark for negotiations. Nothing wrong with that.

    Nice little embedded snippet of racism in that “send their illegitimate kids to private school” comment, btw.

  • 9. micky2  |  December 11, 2007 at 12:20 pm

    Ian, sales are almost always paid in commisions, trhe more you sell, you know the rest.
    If Gordie was doing so well he would been marketed alot better.
    Private sector non union work forces have consistanly always put out a better product, the allow competeition and not entitlement to be the motivation.
    Unions are the reason we pay thru the nose for second rate products.
    Wheres the incentive to do better when you know its almost immpossible to get fired for crappy work ?
    Everyone deserves a job no matter what, at the consumers expense right ?
    The writers may be entitle to more than what they are getting, but tell me how striking is fair to all the other surroung professionals that cant worlk until the writers come back. ?
    Most of the collateral suffering taking place on behalf of everyone from caterers to stage hands is incredibly unfair.

  • 10. TRussell  |  December 11, 2007 at 1:20 pm

    Ian – Tom Brady has an illegitimate son – don’t think JDon was at all referring to people’s race, rather the lifestyle many have.

  • 11. Joey  |  December 11, 2007 at 5:29 pm

    I’m not sure I follow Ian’s comment. Something about his being a union lover, blah, blah, blah, then something about ice hockey. Hockey. Honestly.

    PS, I’m certainly not the first to argue this–St. Milton of much hallowed memory wasn’t, either–but the process Ian describes so poorly is really just extortion by another name. It should be called “labor price fixing,” because that’s what it is. Ford and Chrysler can’t collude to fix car prices, but labor leaders and individual laborers can collude to fix labor prices.

    Furthermore, the very idea that unions bring about fair outcomes is incredibly naive. Unions are as much about keeping certain people OUT of the labor market as they are about making other people secure in their jobs and incomes. Again, praise St. Milton. It isn’t at all clear that unions increase general welfare (reference On the Waterfront to see who does benefit from unionization).

    LeMare, I think it might be time to break out the story of how Papa LeMare took you to the Auditorium Theatre to show you the deliterious effects of unionization on quality of workmanship.

  • 12. Joey  |  December 11, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    Joe Miller has inspired me to reveal my current choice for Vice Presidential candidate, regardless of who the Republican nominee should be: Elaine Chow, our current Secretary of Labor, and crusader for actual, as opposed to socialist, labor reform. She may hate unions as much as I do.

  • 13. lemare  |  December 11, 2007 at 7:39 pm

    Such contraversy today!

    The story of the Auditorium Theater in Chicago is this… My father took us to see a play when we were little (It was probably Les Miserables or Phantom) and he said, “Children, pay special attention to this theater, how beautiful it is, all the ornate detail. They can’t build buildings like this anymore.”

    My young mind couldn’t grasp why we would devolve, and get WORSE at something. The answer was simple: “Unions.”

    I choose a company based on whose going to pay me the best and treat me the best… why can’t laborers choose companies based on the same things? For the record, the factories which manufactured sweets at my former company were all non-union. And they were treated well. It was better for the company AND the people.

    It’s not the Chicago Meat-packing district anymore. Upton Sinclair did his job, now we must do ours.

  • 14. Lindsay  |  December 11, 2007 at 9:14 pm

    I refuse to shop at union stores. And the fact that my children’s teachers are union frightens me. I even went to a school board meeting and spoke out against the union.

  • 15. Lindsay  |  December 11, 2007 at 9:17 pm

    And, Ian, obviously illegitimacy affects every race, but the bottom line is that African Americans have illegitimacy rates far exceeding any other race in America. It’s just numbers.

  • 16. critts  |  December 11, 2007 at 11:56 pm

    Woo-hoo for the great state of Texas Le Mare! I wasn’t born here…but I got here as fast as I could! Ah…I love being a Texan.

  • 17. lemare  |  December 12, 2007 at 1:00 am

    My dear mother was a teacher, but REFUSED to join the NEA.

    My friend, Nancy, was a flight attendant, and required to pay dues (what happened to freedom?) but she refused to put her name on the roster because she’s anti-union.

    Everyday heroes.

  • 18. lemare  |  December 12, 2007 at 1:10 am

    Linds, numbers may be numbers, but Joe was NOT referring to a race, to T. Russell’s point, he was referring to the promiscuous lifestyle in the NBA, etc… So, Ian had the same thought, “most b-ball players are of a certain race, so this must be a racial jab.” nothing can be further from the truth. Joe Miller, like Jerry Maguire, loves black people.

    And when Joe Miller sets out to be offensive, he doesn’t do it subtly.

  • 19. Sportsattitude  |  December 12, 2007 at 10:56 am

    I do believe based on careful review of his published work Joe Miller would capture a decent percentage of black America’s vote, with or without Oprah’s endorsement. As for this whole writer’s union thingy, does anyone know why the networks simply haven’t brought in new writers who aren’t union members? I mean, what are those “threatening” striking picketers going to do…scribble on people as they cross the lines?

  • 20. TRussell  |  December 12, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    I say bring in the Irish scabs.

    Sutter Health nurses (unionized) are walking off the job tomorrow. We will be having our baby in a Sutter facility. I was told on the radio today that I shouldn’t worry because replacements have been found to cover for them.

    I had no idea the Irish were so involved in nursing.

  • 21. jdon  |  December 13, 2007 at 10:26 am

    Now, I am no racist, but lets face it, everybody knows that the Irish couldn’t write themselves out of a paper bag! Seriously, TRussell! Seriously!


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