Miller Monday – The Old Grey Mare

February 11, 2008 at 11:15 am 24 comments

It isn’t hard to see why John McCain doesn’t have much of a chance to take possession of the white house.  As much as conservatives disagree with just about everything John McCain stands for (with the exception of his stance on Iraq) that will not be the reason he is unelectable.  In fact, issues have little to nothing to do with why I perceive him as unelectable.  Now I still think that John McCain will do his best to speak about issues.  He will try to paint himself as a champion of the military and a “true conservative” whatever that means.  And I have to admit that it will be funny to watch conservatives refuse to vote for a man who represents their party but who always refused to represent them.  It’s a high stakes game of pay-back that I don’t necessarily agree with, but it will not really matter in the long run.You see, in hindsight, it isn’t hard to see over the past 30 years why Reagan stomped Mondale, why Clinton beat Dole, and why Bush beat Albert Gore, for example.  It had nothing to do with policy.  It had everything to do with charisma.  In my humble opinion likability is worth more than substance in presidential election.  Forgive my gross estimation of numbers, but I would wager that 1/3 of all American voters vote Republican regardless of the candidate.  Another 1/3 will vote for the Democrat.  Those of you with a calculator in hand will notice that the vote of the first third will be negated by the second third.  What does this mean?  It means that the final third of voters will make a very large impact.  In my opinion the remaining 1/3 will vote for the guy that they would most like to sit down and drink a beer with.  In essence the Bud Light crew will select out next politician.Now, in all honesty, why would they want to knock back a few brewskis with the most crotchety of all candidates?  Seriously!  I may not know John McCain but I most certainly know his kind.  He is that obnoxious old man who saw his front yard as something of a temple.  When you accidentally kicked your ball onto his property he freaked out and refused to give it back.  He was the man who never bought Girl Scout cookies from you.  He was the neighbor who swept his leaves onto your lawn.  In short, John McCain is an old fart – not the funny kind, mind you, just the old grouchy kind!It will be funny to sit back and watch the Kentucky Derby with the Republican nominee – The Old Grey Mare, come November.  It says a lot when more Americans would like to sip a frosty Coors Light with Hillary Clinton than with John McCain, but can you blame them?  The image of John McCain slamming the door in their face wearing a Girl Scout uniform is still fresh in their minds.  Plus that son of a @%#$ still hasn’t given me my ball back!Seriously,Joe Miller


Entry filed under: Miller Monday, Politics.

Happy Birthday, Ronnie Spare Me My Life

24 Comments Add your own

  • 1. TRussell  |  February 11, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    My calculator doesn’t do fractions. Luckily I can do fractions in your head. 1/3 + 1/3 = 2/6. That leaves the vote up to 4 Americans (6/6-2/6 = 4/0). I wonder who they are.

    Joe, you also bring up another good point. Romney could never win. He doesn’t drink beer. So I guess the argument he would have to make is, yeah, maybe you’d rather sit down and have a glass of water with B.O. than with me, but at least we’d be drinking premium bottled water under my economic plan.

    Seriously, how much do 4 bottled waters cost? It would be pretty cheap to finance that economic plan.

  • 2. Jdon  |  February 11, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    T.Russ – This is easy maths. We could easily go to Cosco and get like 15 waters and between the four of us we could each have, like 6 bottles. There’s no way we could lose the election!

  • 3. TRussell  |  February 11, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    Think of the savings we could pass on to the tax-payers.

    What kind of water do superdelegates drink anyway? We should be cautious to not buy imported water as there could be a protectionist backlash.

  • 4. Lowdogg  |  February 11, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    I live in the heart of Spring Water territory. Maybe that is why Florida has been such a pivotal state.

  • 5. jdon  |  February 11, 2008 at 5:25 pm

    I always imagined Spring Water territory to be a magical place with woodland elves and fairy princesses. No offense Lowdogg but I think of Florida as mostly gators and old people! Maybe we should be offering Adult Diapers and Gator Repellent to our friends in the South East?

  • 6. TRussell  |  February 11, 2008 at 7:33 pm

    Maybe that is why McCain took FL. He made the case to voters that he was the guy who they would most want to sit out on the beach, drinking prune juice and sporting the latest Depends accessories – don’t ask me what those would be.

  • 7. Lindsay  |  February 11, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    Yet as he continues to flash images on tv screens all over America of him as a pow, will he get the sympathy vote? Come on, pow then, prune juice drinker now. You almost weep for the man (if you forget his nasty conspiratorial treatment of Mitt). Sympathy may trump likability.

  • 8. jdon  |  February 11, 2008 at 9:17 pm

    Im not sure that pity is the word. I cant get the image of John McCain sitting in the bayou, sipping prune juice, in nothing but an adult diaper out of my head!

  • 9. TRussell  |  February 11, 2008 at 9:44 pm

    The best part is someone etched “Pull my face back and there is an alien” in sunblock when he accidentally fell asleep.

  • 10. JL  |  February 12, 2008 at 1:36 pm

    The Old Grey Mare had a ballot cast against him today in the Potomac Primaries. Because we know Hillary probably buys a lot of Girl Scout cookies out of principle.

  • 11. TRussell  |  February 12, 2008 at 2:14 pm

    you voted for hillary?

  • 12. JL  |  February 12, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    Yes, for two reasons. To spite McCain for his complete disrespect of Romney and my personal dislike of his smugness and to take away support from Obama, the more viable candidate against McCain. We’ll see how it turns out tonight.

  • 13. Sportsattitude  |  February 12, 2008 at 9:35 pm

    I’m becoming fairly certain of one thing…the Clintons will have to pull in every favor, every marker they have and stoop to levels we haven’t even seen them stoop to yet just to win the Demo nomination. Obama is a tsunami rolling across the countryside from one end to the other. True Republicans should pray long and hard Billary finds a way to win their side of things, because I think McCain will be landslided by Obama. I admittedly look more for a candidate who I can believe in on a core values, gut level moreso than their stance on issues…I vote more on faith in the person than the positions they take, looking at the Presidency as a place where hope and inspiration must spring eternal first and foremost. Thanks to IRF, I took a liking to Mitt once I got more of a look at him…but once he got gutted by the Huckster, there became little doubt I will now throw my support to Obama. He represents a breath of fresh air. No experience? Who cares? What the heck has experience from all sitting in their chairs in Washington bought us recently? I truly believe if his country has to look at McCain and Billary from April to November we’ll pass recession and go straight on to depression.

  • 14. Lindsay  |  February 12, 2008 at 10:47 pm

    I don’t like a lifetime of government experience and nothing else, but you’ve got to have executive experience in some way–like Mitt running huge corporations before running a state. Barack went to Harvard law and then spent a couple of years in the IL legislature. He is simply unqualified to be the leader of the free world. I cannot get past that.

  • 15. TRussell  |  February 13, 2008 at 1:42 am

    Lindsay is right. He has somehow (with the huge help from the media) been able to create some kind of euphoria that is a house of cards. The media giveth, and the media taketh away. Although, I seriously doubt this guy is going to get his head handed to him by them – they love this story.

    But let’s be clear. Our nation is on the verge of a huge economic crisis. Maybe Mike Lee can chime in with a more detailed perspective, but there are significant hurdles to overcome that I fear mere optimism and euphoria will not overcome. Namely, entitlements, trade deficit, national debt.

    Each of those hurdles is enough to bring an economy to a screeching halt, but I fear a perfect storm is on the horizon.

    Entitlements – The rating agencies have recently come out and said, if America does not reform its entitlement programs, it will be forced to downgrade out debt. The whole financial world operates under the assumption that U.S. debt is risk free. We already have a weak currency (which I will touch on more) and with an exodus out of US debt into some other security would absolutely drive is into a severe depression. Not to mention, we’d still have an entitlement liability with no one to pay taxes to support it.

    Trade deficit – we have been financing our consumption of goods with debt. For every dollar of foreign goods we buy, in order to balance out the payments, asian countries have been purchasing our debt. This, in my opinion, has helped fuel the strong bull treasury market over the last decade, and thus the housing boom. We are already starting to see the cracks in this unwinding. But the fall out is concerning in the sense that many of the asian nations are diversifying away from the dollar into other currencies as housing prices plummet, taking away our ability to continue to consume. How this downward spiral is going to unwind, I have no idea.

    National debt – we all know the issues here.

    The combined affect of all of this is serious. All have negative pressures on the currency that could seriously hinder our ability to service our debt and import goods and services – namely oil. We will be joining the communists on the ash heep of history unless we return to our capitalistic and free market roots. We are, as of the days of FDR, socialists people!

    No one in the current running gives me any confidence they will be able to fix this. On the contrary, its not even a stump speech line item! The media is focused on the Obama band-wagon. I feel like no one is on top of this. I am personally putting a significant chunk of by investable assets into a short $ ETF – ticker “UDN” – as a way to somehow offset all of this.

    Sir John Templeton holds the belief the U.S. banking system will fail. Where is the outrage!?!?! Of all parties, the republican constituency should have been all over this and nominated either rudy, mitt, or ron paul. Say what you want about the latter, but he understood that spending needed to be stopped and fast.

    I guess we’d all rather stick our heads in the sand and jump on the Obama bullet heading of a cliff.

  • 16. Marcus  |  February 13, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    Is anyone else getting a kick out of the fact that Huckabee is running third in a two-man race?

  • 17. Lindsay  |  February 13, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    I’d be more comfortable is you referred to him as “The Huck.” Using his fully name sounds too respectful.

  • 18. Sportsattitude  |  February 13, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    Marcus – Love that comment.
    Lindsay – I hope you will accept “The Huckster” as a suitable substitute for “The Huck”
    Lindsay & TRussell – My point with Obama is I am weary of those “with experience.” All of this experience in Washington never gets us anywhere, whether its a Clinton or a Bush. The reason why the Obama wave is rising is simply because I think a lot of folks have just figured if we’re going to crash and burn, we might as well do it with someone who is a fresh face, can give a good speech and fire up the congregation. No 30 or 40 years of obligations to people who funded him or propped him up or spoon-fed him elections. I do not think Obama can be written up as a media creation. I think he’s a creation of the times we live in. It’s not pretty in this country, or the world for that matter. But whomever becomes President isn’t going to change things for the better by themselves. The position is as much symbolic as functional in my mind, especially with all the checks and balances…and hurdles…Congress provides.

  • 19. jdon  |  February 13, 2008 at 11:36 pm

    I personally hope that a Democrat wins. Shucks, McCain is just as liberal as Hillary or Obama on many issues. I guess I’m gonna get my wish. Anyways, I’m banking on everything going to pot and I want to make sure a Democratic gets the blame for it this time.

  • 20. Sportsattitude  |  February 14, 2008 at 6:08 am

    jdon – that sounds like a fair enough compromise from those IRF readers who can’t stomach a Democrat and/or Obama…look at it that way if you like… if it goes even worse than it is now…and we’re all still around…Mitt in 2012! But geez, let’s not even consider four years of McCain or Billary.

  • 21. Lowdogg  |  February 14, 2008 at 10:07 am

    James Carville (well-known dem strategist) was asked who the Republicans should have selected. He said if Jeb Bush was named Jeb Smith we wouldn’t even be asking that question. it would be over.

    And he’s right. A lot of people will reject a Bush out of hand, but Jeb was an outstanding governor. It is especially clear now that we have to live with his McCainesque successor.

    I would have a hard time choosing between Jeb and Mitt. With names like those they would have made a great team.

  • 22. Marcus  |  February 14, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    Lindsay, would you prefer that I use the name that my good friend and fellow Mitt supporter uses for Huckaboo? I’ll give you a hint: it starts with an F, and ends pretty much the same as Huckabee. 🙂 I also have several others, but I try to refrain from such language, so I’ll stick with Huckaboo or, as you wisely suggest, “The Huck.” Or perhaps “Huckleberry pin-head.”

  • 23. Marcus  |  February 14, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    Lowdogg, I think “Jeb and Mitt’s” is a tavern in Lubbock, TX where you can get your spurs sharpened while you drink whiskey out of a dirty glass. Also, a brass spittoon in the corner. Bonus. But I agree–those guys are both awesome. In fact, the person I feel worse for in all of this Jeb. Can you imagine? You’re the smart one, the one that can get broad support on both sides of the aisle, the one that didn’t throw his life away until he was 40, not bad looking either, and you don’t get to be President b/c your idiot brother somehow snuck in there first and ruined everything? Poor guy. I mean, how would JFK have felt if Teddy had made it to the oval office first and been a disaster? Poor Jeb. He would have been a great VP for Mitt, if he only had a different last name. Now we’re stuck with a liberal or a more-liberal. McCain as our nominee? Does anyone know how I can get my garden hose to form a tight seal around my exhaust pipe? It keeps slipping out.

  • 24. Whither the Jdon? « In Rare Form  |  February 4, 2009 at 11:14 am

    […] our more seasoned readers will remember Jdon. His last post on this blog (almost one year ago!) was a prescient bit of commentary on the candidacy of John McCain. In the immortal words of former Arizona Cardinals coach Dennis Green, “[He is] who we […]


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