Myrt’s Blurts: The Bus Stop

June 27, 2008 at 9:36 am 5 comments

My office has a big window that looks out onto a bus stop across from the ER of the hospital for which I work. The window has a mirrored finish on it—so I see them, they don’t see me. You truly cannot imagine the endless entertainment garnered from this. Just today, this seemingly normal woman on her cell phone was screaming, “I can’t f-ing HEAR YOU, I can’t f-ing HEAR YOU!!” over and over. Ummmm, try taking it off speaker, dumb, crazy lady. Over the last year, there was the young aspiring artist singing karaoke into the window and contorting in ways I suspect were trying to imitate Timberlake. Then the old bat in shorts that were pulling double duty as her bra, yelling at cars and motorcycles to turn down their music or, in the case of the motorcycle, their engine. Two teens trying to make a getaway were tasered by hospital security—apparently it wasn’t their ipod. And of course there are the everyday commuters concerned over their hair, teeth, tongue, nose hairs, zippers, crotch (can I use that word?), and boob situation. Not to mention the countless teenagers barking into their cell about their baby daddy. Sadly, this list has been edited.

But of all the characters I’ve seen, these are my top four.

1. Not two minutes after the crazy lady from today boarded the bus, The Lesbian came by. Capital T, Capital L. Why, you ask? Jean shorts, see-through tank with braless sagging man-boobs, bad hair situation, and no makeup tipped me off. But she could be the hippy tree hugger Urbana is known for, right? Wrong. Look closely and you can see a 4-inch tattoo on her arm of two naked women humping. If only the picture were better.

2. The urban cowboy roams up and down University Ave. three, four times a week. He’s often in a bright blue polyester suits with a cowboy hat on, carrying rope, a large walking stick and myriad other outfits and accessories I’m convinced are just to make people scratch their head. I met him once – he was quite friendly. We finally got a picture of him in a nearby park.

3. Jesus. I wish I had a photo, but alas I do not. Suffice it to say he spent Easter weekend trolling the streets of C-U dressed in a white robe lugging an 8-foot wood cross on his shoulder. Ironic that the cross had a huge shoulder pad and was on wheels. But let’s not get picky.

4. And finally, here is he whom we have dubbed Exhibit A. The photo isn’t great, but yes, it’s mid-November and he has jeans, no shirt, and a parka hood on. Where’s the parka you might ask? I’m guessing it’s stuffed in the army sack he’s lugging around. But it’s anyone’s guess.

Sometimes to my delight but more often to my chagrin, the window is not soundproof. So I also get oodles of information about goiters, corns, colonoscopies, hemorrhoids, boils, cancers, and you get you picture. But it’s not just the people I “meet” or overhear. It’s also the objects left behind. So far this year I have spotted: a condom (used, of course), jar of peanut butter, bag of bread, vomit, baby formula, bag of bagels, and panties. Luckily not in that order and not at the same time—that would be one wacky night out.

Oh the joy I get from these crazies who are three feet from me and have no idea I am there.

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Entry filed under: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, Myrt's Blurts.

DC v. Heller Major League Baseball or Homeless Soccer?

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. JL  |  June 27, 2008 at 9:44 am

    Myrt, have you ever considered being an investigative reporter?

    Reply
  • 2. lemare  |  June 27, 2008 at 11:53 am

    I don’t know what I’d do if I saw a cross on wheels with a shoulder pad being dragged around by a bearded man in a robe.

    Could the parka-hood sans parka man be the same character?

    Reply
  • 3. TRussell  |  June 27, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    Hey – one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Ever thought about making modern art out of it and then selling it to a museum?

    Reply
  • 4. Sportsattitude  |  June 29, 2008 at 6:44 am

    These images are distrubing and not easily discarded. IRF continues to force us all to look in the collective mirror of America… and our world out gets more freaky by the minute. Fortunately, based on the recent Supreme Court ruling all of these folks should be able to carry firearms…and that at least provides us some comfort.

    Reply
  • 5. The Bus Stop II « In Rare Form  |  May 1, 2009 at 10:27 am

    […] (remember, with mirrored windows, I see them, they can’t see me.) […]

    Reply

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