The Lamentations of Lowry – Chapter 14: Demons Among Us

February 19, 2009 at 11:31 pm 6 comments

My previous post on the rampant TV-caused teenage pregancy caused me to investigate further the major perpetrators of the broader media-borne cultural malaise. For your consideration, the Demons Among Us:

This joker seems to play a notorious lothario on Gossip Girl. Whenever I see him I want to punch his smarmy face. Is he considered attractive with his greasy hair and retro-moneyed attire?

Many women seem to have forgotten the days when this guy had a head about 2 times too big for his body. Now we’re supposed to believe that he is “dreamy.” In reality, he seems more like one separated at birth.

Finally, the Shmonas Shmothers. I dain to mention their name. As this videographic evidence shows, there is myriad evidence as to the unsuitability of these children. Fey gesticulation, feminized voices, overly done coifs, and emasculated attire are all evidences of their perniciousness. As I often say, “Never trust a man in skinny jeans.” One more thing…they can’t sing, yet we are forcefed their mediocrity.

If I intend to provide an appropriate counterbalance to these lupus in ovis aries’ guise, and I do, there is one clear place to start the list of worthy men. These paragons require no embellishment:

Jack Bauer

Jonas Blaine/President Palmer

Jean-Luc Picard (I know…it’s been a while)

Who else makes the Man List?

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Entry filed under: Commentary, Irreverence, Television. Tags: .

Not Worth Peanuts LOL!!!!! IRF 4ever!!!!

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. LeMare  |  February 20, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    Sawyer from Lost.

    Reply
  • 2. lowdogg  |  February 20, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    My wife would agree.

    Reply
  • 3. LeMare  |  February 20, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    Oh, and Liam Neeson. Did you see Taken? He was in full-on Jack Bauer mode.

    Reply
  • 4. JL  |  February 23, 2009 at 3:36 pm

    Simon Baker from the Mentalist (and The Devil Wears Prada). Does appearing in the latter rule him out?

    Reply
  • 5. lowdogg  |  February 23, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    I would say no, although my manliness prevented me from watching the film. I think the guy from Entourage was in that too, right? I submit that he would be the less manly foil to Mr. Baker.

    Reply
  • 6. LeMare's Sis  |  February 24, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Michael Weston on Burn Notice.

    Reply

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